A goodbye to nursery

Today marks the end of an era, another big stage in my daughter growing up, her last day at nursery

Now I guess for people without kids, nursery may be seen as just a babysitting service, somewhere to leave the kids whilst you go to work, or the shops or wherever

This is not my experience of nursery, and certainly not of The Aviary in Eastleigh 

There's personal information that I won't go into but when Amelia started nursery it was at a time of great difficulty and they welcomed her like their own child

Amelia started at The Aviary when she was 6 months old, her mum was returning to work and whilst we had great family support we needed some additional help with childcare, I work shifts so don't have set days off each week

Amelia loves her nursery, she loves the staff, she loves the building and loves the garden. Above all she loves the friends that she has made. Now if you've ever had a child at school or nursery you'll know there's always a child that cries when their parent leaves, maybe its your child, but Amelia has never cried when dropped off there

The last several months have been hard for Amelia, big changes have happened at home, she's turned 4, and next week she starts school, Big School as we've been calling it for the last few months.  Throughout all of this, one constant that she has had in her life has been nursery 

Today is the end of that. 

44 months of twice or thrice weekly visits there. A goodbye to the staff and helpers. It's not a goodbye to her friends but of course she won't see as much of them, they won't have the days of the week when they always see each other

Maybe it is effecting me more than it's effecting her, she'll start her new school and she'll love it. She'll make new friends, have new teachers and have so much fun. But I know it's made her sad

She didn't want to leave when her mum collected her yesterday and I know for sure she won't want to leave today. I'll be at work this afternoon so I won't get to be there for the end of her last day, but to be honest that's probably not a bad thing, it will be an emotional time and I think tears will be shed, by her mum if no one else

And so we look forward to the next adventure, Big School, starting next Friday. Next week is my last chance to spend time with Amelia before she's a proper school pupil. And as I dropped her off yesterday I told her, as I thought it would be, that this would be the last time I dropped her at nursery and what she said really effected me.  She said 'maybe you could pick me up from big school sometimes daddy'. Half statement but half question. Looking for reassurance that I would still be there for her

Psychologists will tell you that a child will behave better for the parent that doesn't live with them, as though they have to behave because otherwise that parent may just give up and stop seeing them.  I desperately hope that's not how Amelia feels and I have, and will continue to, reassure her that I will always be there for her

I can't be there every morning, I can't be there every evening. She'll have experiences without me and I'll miss some milestones. But I'll be there as much as I can, and she'll know that I'm only ever a phone call away 

And most importantly I'll be there at the gates as she joins her new school and there when she finishes her first day. To take pictures in her new uniform and to cherish every moment of her new learning experience

I have no doubt that my daughter, along with the love and support of me and especially her mum, will go on to achieve great things in life, and this is only the closing of one door as another one flies open

I love you Amelia 

Housey housey, play housey housey

Things are getting serious

I am currently flat hunting. As some of you may know, I live in a pretty reasonable one bedroom flat in Eastleigh, with a few downsides.  

The first one is a man we'll call Smokey Robinson. I wouldn't like to guess how many cigarettes he smokes a day, but we'll choose a conservative figure and say 27000.  Well he lives downstairs. In his defence I think he has reduced his smoking, maybe 26500 now. But I am still greeted by that 'sweet' aroma whenever I come home

The next problem is the Conservative club next door.  This is a place I expected to be frequented by the more mature residents of Eastleigh, with the loudest thing perhaps being a bingo night. But oh no. Even looking past the loud, foul mouthed scrotes that hang around out the front, smoking Smokey's extra 500 fags. The main issue is the Friday Karaoke night and the live band on a Saturday 

I'm no expert in running a club, my last experience back in the 80's was unsuccessful. Apparently milk club should always have a healthy supply of milk....what can I say...I was let down by suppliers. But one thing I do know is if you want people to come and watch a live band, either supply very cheap alcohol, or, as crazy as it sounds, a good quality band.  I can only assume that beer is 10 pence a pint next door

So anyway, I'm flat hunting. Hunting to buy, not rent. And you'd think this would be easier or at least more enjoyable. But no.

See the problem with hunting to buy is that you're not making a 6-12 month commitment, you're going to be there for some time, maybe even the rest of your life. So the decision has to be right, or at least as right as it can be

The next problem with buying, is budget. You set a price, but how much above that price do you allow yourself to search, taking into account the 'cheeky offer' equation. Some would say go 10% above what you can afford, some say more. I guess it depends very much on how cheeky you are 

So I set my search criteria at around 5% above what I can afford, I typed my search criteria into Rightmove (other property based websites/apps are available) and waited for the hundreds of choices that fitted exactly what I need. Hundreds didn't happen. Tens didn't happen. In fact over the last 4 or 5 months of searching, daily, I'm pretty much left with 4, maybe 5 flats. 

I can't afford a house, and I can't afford an actual flat (flats have maintenance charges that shally equate to over £100 a month) so I'm left with maisonettes, purpose built or conversions.  

The downside to my choice of 4 or 5 flats is 3 of them are in the same road as the house I recently moved from, the house that my wife and daughter currently and will continue to occupy. And when I say the same road, what I mean is that one is two doors down, the other two are across the road and two doors down. I'm sure you can appreciate my dilemma.

However enough of that, the humour of property searching is in the estate agents themselves. And pretty much all the estate agents I've ever dealt with have been incompetent.

I was due to view 4 properties on Thursday, all with the same agent, so they were done as a block booking.  The viewings were booked for 3pm so you can imagine my delight when at 10pm the agent phoned to say that one of them was cancelled. Apparently the vendor doesn't do viewings in the daytime, they have to be after 5:30, a fact that the agent was well aware of. 

They then phoned again to cancel a second viewing, this vendor insisted on being there for viewings, but I couldn't see it because they were going to be home all day. Yes that's not a typo, I couldn't see a flat that had to be occupied for viewings, because the vendor was at home

I think I may have made my annoyance clear on the phone when the estate agent appeared to whimper slightly, telling me he was only doing his best. That's me, I'm like a cage fighting champion.....on the phone.....30 miles away

Now the first viewing went without trauma. It was a nice little flat. Some people wouldn't choose to live behind a dog grooming salon, or on a main road, or opposite a primary school. But other than that it was ok. Well, except for the fact that I'd have had to take half the kitchen out just to change the washing machine. Oh, and Amelia would have had to sleep curled up as there wasn't really space for a bed in the second bedroom. So that was a no

At the second viewing the agent arrived before me, I was still walking down. He then informed me that the tenant wasn't at home and he didn't have a key. This was another person that had insisted on being present for all viewings and had assured the agents that she would be there. 

Well she didn't factor in my agent going back to the office to get a key. And actually it was a fantastic flat, the only downside I could find in fact was that it didn't have a freezer, or space for one really, but that's not the end of the world. The viewing went well....a fact that the agent was pleased about as he said 'I was worried if I'd cocked this up that you were going to punch me'.  Success, the agent is scared. Hopefully I can get him to add 5% to my deposit 

A viewing I had the next day was the flat above the previously mentioned one and we had intended to see both of them at the same time. Except the tenant said we couldn't because she was going away for the weekend, so would be in at the time of the viewing....a fact that she insists upon....confused? I certainly was

So we had to settle for a peek through the window. Or walking blatantly up to the patio doors and staring in as the agent did

This agent and another agent this week both told me that vendors would definitely take offers of nearly 10% under the asking price, which did leave me wondering who they were working for exactly...still, it's useful information for me

In the meantime some thinking will be done and the search shall continue 

I don't have any house search related funnies so I'll just add something random

Bye bye for now 

Do we have a right to decide

There is a 'Big Issue' seller that I see quite often in Eastleigh, he stands outside the chemist at the end of Market Street, I've never bought the Big Issue

I understand the concept is that you are giving them an income, they buy the magazine for a small amount and they keep the profit, a point that was made by their chief executive a few years ago when he urged people to not pay more than the cover price....it's a job, not a charity

The question is, how many people would buy the magazine if it was on a shelf in Tesco, maybe the content is so impressive that they would, or maybe people just but it for compassionate reasons 

Now this takes me back to the man outside the chemist, lets call him Lloyd....it's not a Boots Chemist

Lloyd is better dressed than me, not a great challenge I'm sure you'll agree, but either way he has nice trainers, decent clothes and most importantly, the latest iPhone 

And this brings us to my question, do we have any right to an opinion on how people spend their money.  We've been repeatedly told that Lloyd is a self employed business man, he's not a beggar, so do we have any more of a right to comment than if he were a builder or plasterer 

And the answer is no. He may earn a lot of money doing what he does, enough that he decides he wants super fast processing, an 8mp camera and all the greatest apps, at least he's an Apple man and not Samsung

When i do decide to buy the Big Issue, if I ever do, will I be buying it from him. No. Because he doesn't 'need' my money. The same as I probably wouldn't favour a builder that drives a Ferrari or a plasterer that carries his tools in a Rolls Royce

Am I judging a book by its cover, no, I'm judging a smart phone by its retina screen

More or less connected

A friend and I will soon be starting an experiment, an experiment in technology

Now normally you would expect this to mean we will be trying out some new technology, or some new way of using it, but no

I was 15 when I got my first mobile phone, 15! I didn't even have anyone to call, in fact I think I only had one or two friends that even had a mobile and why did I need to call them

Text messaging didn't even exist, if you wanted to speak to someone you phoned them, or better still you went to their house and knocked on their door

I fully appreciate that I use my phone more than most people, I have a fair amount of spare time, but I wonder how many people could live without it

But it doesn't stop there, or start there in fact. I cannot actually live without any sort of phone, it's just not viable, I don't work in an office and am often 50 miles from home when at work, so I won't be switching off completely.  However, this is not limited to phones either, this is a shut down of the Internet as well

My methods of communication will be in person or actually speaking on the phone. Text messages will be responded to with a phone call or ignored. Emails, other than work related ones, will be ignored. Facebook will stay active but not be used. Twitter, well I don't really use it anyway, but the same as Facebook. 

You may be wondering what the purpose of all of this is, well it's a test to see whether technology brings us closer to our friends and family or actually pushes us further apart. Does it connect us or disconnect us

Will i be more or less aware of current affairs, more informed or more distant from what is really going on in the world

Will this experiment really show who our friends are, as if someone is not prepared to call you, or receive a phone call from you can they really be counted as a true friend or merely an acquaintance.  Does Facebook and the interaction it brings enrich our lives or just feed a desire to snoop on other people's lives in a bid to make ourselves feel better or even to affirm our belief that we really are in the worst position

It's ironic that this blog is typed on a smart phone, published in an app and posted to Facebook and twitter, all from the comfort and warmth of my bath tub. But just think what opportunities I'm missing out on in the bath by being on my phone

I will publish a start date when everything is discussed and arranged, likely to be a couple of weeks or maybe the start of September 

Lets get connected 

P.S - for those saying that it's easy and they do it on holiday. In most cases that's a lie and in others it's very different, I'm talking living everyday life 

Well he might die, but at least I didn't get a ticket

I was sat in Asda car park today, got their 1 minute after 4pm and they wouldn't let me in, grrrrr, but I digress

A young boy walked past with his mother, presumably, and proceeded to get into a car, front seat, no child seat or booster.  This boy was, I would guess, around 5 or 6 years old. When the door was closed, you couldn't see him at all

I believe the law states that you can carry a child in your vehicle in an emergency situation without a booster seat.  I don't believe that Asda shopping would be classed as an emergency situation

The fact that his mother, presumably, was happy to transport him with a seatbelt right around his neck, probably with the airbag still switched on dumbfounded me. Ignoring the law, it's just not safe 

I figured this would be the most reckless child/car seat experience of the day, but no

We were called to check on a couple with a baby that had broken down near Portsmouth. They had recovery towards but were concerned for the baby in the heat, around 30 degrees. 

Upon arrival, the father asked if we would be able to transport his partner and child off of the motorway to get the young lad out of the sun.  Of course we were more than happy to do this. As fathers, and most importantly not idiots, we appreciated the need to help. 

So we cleared our bags from the back seat, the mother got in holding the baby and we waited for the father to get the car seat.  

At this point he closed the car door and said his goodbyes.  ''Errrm, you need to put your child in a car seat sir''

''oh really, ok''

So he went to get the car seat, 'chucked' it on the back seat next to his wife and said ''you'll drive safe wont you lads''

''Sir (or may have been 'mate' by this point) you need to actually strap the car seat into the car and your son into the seat''

''Oh, it's a bit tricky to put in, does it matter, it's not far''

I guess it depends whether you give a toss about your son really.  So he asks us to take him off the motorway to get him out of the sun, but is more than happy to just chuck him in a loose car seat and send him on his way

The law in this situation is irrelevant. Of course the law would dictate that the child needs to be in a safely secured car seat, but you shouldn't need a law to tell you that

How is it that people have so little regard for the safety of their children, and will continue to do so, as long as they don't get 'caught'. 

All I can say is I hope the Police catch up with people like this before an Ambulance or Coroner needs to

They should be ashamed

The older you get, the more accurate this becomes

I'd love to take the credit for this, but obviously I can't. It does however sum up life so accurately -------------------------------------------------- Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of ’99, If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it.  The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable

than my own meandering experience…I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind; you will not 

understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded. 

But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked….You’re not as fat as you 

imagine.

Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as 

effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm 

on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing everyday that scares you

Sing

Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss

Don’t waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes 

you’re behind…the race is long, and in the end, it’s only with yourself.

Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch

Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life…the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don’t.

Get plenty of calcium.

Be kind to your knees, you’ll miss them when they’re gone.

Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll have children,maybe 

you won’t, maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky 

chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary…what ever you do, don’t 

congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either – your choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s. 

Enjoy your body, use it every way you can…don’t be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever 

own..

Dance…even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.

Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them.

Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents, you never know when they’ll be gone for good.

Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go,but for the precious few you should hold on. 

Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live 

in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.

Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old, and when you do you’ll fantasize that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were 

noble and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one might run out.

Don’t mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen…

10,000 hits and one only fist hole

Today I write the blog that will see me reach 10,000 hits on my site

I don't know if this is an impressive figure. I do know that the majority of these hits were in the first 3 months, I've been a bit lazy recently, and in fact I could have hit this milestone sooner 

My blog is read by people in nearly 20 countries, has been referenced by other websites, shared, retweeted, complimented....though not insulted (surprisingly).  I think people that I know, read it more than they'll ever admit

I hope it gives a little insight into the exciting life that I lead and maybe even causes some thought provocation and debate along the line

I am always conscious of writing for the sake of writing, the viewing figures showed a decline when I just started writing about anything and everything

I will do my utmost to regain my blog writing mojo over the coming weeks and see if I can return to the glory days of 'STOP, Pope Clown Beard' and 'Old Man Banana Sex'

It would have been nice if I'd tied up my 100th blog with my 10,000th hit but alas it's not to be, this is number 97

And so after that waffle, lets get to my blog for the day. 

Property viewing. I love it

Yesterday I, along with a friend, did some flat viewings, 2 intentional and 1 as a 'suggestion' from the agent

I actually quite like estate agents sometimes, sure a lot of them are smarmy, arrogant arseholes, but you can't always judge a book by its glossy fact sheet

Now, that's not to say I didn't encounter one of the worst types this week. 

I found a flat I wanted to view, phoned the agent, and envisioned the conversation going like this:

Me - can I view flat 'X' please

Her - of course you can

Me - super, Friday any good?

Her - of course, that would be perfect,   

            we look forward to helping you  

           find your dream home

Ok, the last bit would be a little cheesy but you get the idea.  What followed instead was 

Me - can I view flat 'X' please

Her - how are you planning to    

            finance the purchase

Me - I have a mortgage in place and a  

          financial advisor to handle it   

          thanks 

Her - you need to come as see me (she 

           was the mortgage advisor) I will  

           get you a better deal (at this point 

          she has no idea about what deal I 

          have)

Me - no thanks, I'd just like to see the 

          flat

Her - but if you see me then you'll  

           become a premier customer, which 

           means we'll do X, Y and Z for you

Me - tbh if you're not doing those things 

          already then you're failing your 

          clients

Her - but but....blah blah blah

Me - can I just arrange a viewing please

Her - FINE (and we know how much I 

           hate that word) I'll 'find' the diary 

           and call you back

That was on Tuesday. She obviously hasn't found it yet....

Rumour has it that a new blockbuster will be hitting the screens next year 

'Indiana Jones - Finders of the Lost Estate Agent's Diary'

Anyway, the viewings I had were with 2 perfectly lovely agents. Upon seeing the first arrive in his '60' plate Audi, I did question if I'm in the wrong job, but he did say he's saving up for a Renault Clio diesel and the Audi was just a runaround, fair enough really

The second was very nice, explaining that she had 5 kids...but she didn't give birth to all of them. Thoughts of deliveries by the stork sprang to mind before she explained that she'd just found 3 of them.....or they were her step kids.....one or the other 

You have to have a certain amount of respect for a woman that can make a positive from any negative though 

'Ok the kitchen has no storage, but there is a big cupboard in the living room, you could use that to store food etc'

Hmmm

The flat (maisonette) in question was already a 'no' but I thought it worth having a sneaky look at the 'communal garden'.  In case we weren't sure that we'd found the garden, the MASSIVE dog from next door made it clear where we were

We were greeted by toothless Tammy, the downstairs neighbour. Pausing her puffing on cigarette number 50 for the day, she explained that her 'other arf' owned the garden and my 'communal' area was in fact the size of a small hatchback car. But it was ok because she assured me that her 'ex' partner was a 'really nice guy' that 'wouldn't give me any trouble'.....well if that doesn't sell the flat then nothing will

What she also failed to realise is that if her 'ex' is 'really nice' then maybe she's the problem, and she'd be my neighbour 

The 3rd viewing was a flat in a block, and lets just say that my plan isn't to live in a flat that stinks of dog, painted pink, with a mouldy bathroom and, and this is icing on the cake, a fist sized hole in the wall on the communal stairway (I know it was fist sized, I measured it, and with my small hands, I'm pretty sure there's an angry woman living there'

Still one of the 3 viewings went really well, so we shall see what happens with that one

Now as much as I like to 'waffle' (picture attached) I think I'll leave it there

Have some funny pictures and have a great 'weekend'. I'll be hard at work until 10pm :-(

Bye bye for now