Bye bye by-election

So today was voting day, I'm not sure what we're voting for as I've not received a single leaflet, door knock, telephone call, stoppage in the street, news broadcast, newspaper story or anything.....apparently there's some sort of 'election' on....well you'd never know

Generally speaking most people are not very vocal about who they vote for, choosing instead to keep it to themselves. I am not one of these people. I didn't vote for anyone.

Now people say, if you don't vote, you can complain. Well. If I've proved nothing else over the last 7 weeks of blog writing, I've at least proven that I am very capable for complaining

Out of 14 candidates, only 1 can win, so there will be lots of disappointed people and lots of people complaining....I'll just join in with them

To be Chinese, that should have been to be honest but for some reason my phone changed it. To be honest, I would have voted Liberal Democrat, because, I've always really like the colours orange and yellow, and these are the main colours that they use. Blue is technically my favoured colour, but not when it comes to politics, then it becomes the colour that I think has possibly ruined the country.....or is that red...I forget

As I was saying, I would have voted Lib Dem, were it not for their constant harassment over the last 2 or 3 weeks, including 2 phone calls this evening, 'you haven't voted! You need to vote'........and you need to piss off, get a life and stop phoning people that aren't interested, at 9pm

This may well be my last election related blog, the bin will come in tomorrow and then we can all forget about politics for another 2 years....much the same as the election winner probably will

A pretty standard day today, early shift at work, workout in the gym, and then to the pub with some workmates for a few drinks to celebrate their birthdays...soft drinks obviously as I'm working in 8 hours. I still haven't managed to get a new car tyre, but there's always tomorrow so I haven't given up hope yet

7 days until New York so that's something to look forward to, but in the meantime ill leave you with an iPad mishap, a worrying supermarket sign, and a saucy little picture

Bye bye for now

It's bin a tyre-ing day

Mike Thorntons skivvies - officially happy to empty get their hands dirty

He knocked the door 'I'm calling on behalf of Mike Thornton, here have a leaflet, will you be voting tomorrow? Yes, 'will it be for Lib Dems?' No, 'Can I ask who you'll be voting for?' No.

After his conversation with Jac I went out to throw his leaflet in my 'clearly labelled' bin, to be greeted by 'can I take that'....it was in the bin by this point, followed by 'can I go in your bin to get it back?'

Ironic really as I've welcomed any opportunity to throw them and their leaflets in my bin, just a shame I couldn't get the lid shut

Today has been a tyring day, no jobs to speak of at work but 200+ miles of wild goose chases looking for them

My car was in for service yesterday and it was pointed out that I need a new rear tyre. So I went on the website of a company I've used before and got a price of £109, I then phoned another company that guarantee to price match.....their best price, £130.....perhaps some education needed as to what 'price match' means

So I finished work, collected Amelia and headed to the cheaper garage to be told I'd have a 90-120 minute wait to have a tyre fitted...this would be fine in a town centre, but they're nowhere near a town centre. I recalled another local garage that guarantee to price match, so drove over to them. Their best price.....£150 :-/

So I've ended the day still needing a tyre, which I'll have to just sit and wait for at the first garage, probably next week now and a politicians errand boy with his feet poking skyward out of my bin.....every cloud...

I appreciate this isn't the most interesting read but since my readership numbers have dropped by more than 50% recently, I may soon be the only one reading them anyway, haha

Finally I'll add some pictures, a bedtime warning, a badly written headline, and a quote for the day

Bye bye for now

Edit - as I finished writing I had a phone call from the Lib Dems, first trying to compliment me by telling me by name was cool, because my middle initials are DJ, and then wanting to know who i was voting for and was it UKIP.....of course their only real competition are the conservatives.....so you can guess where I told her my vote was going

Supercharged Sausage Egg.....How Dairy!

Wheelie bin update - no leaflets today, although the Lib Dems did stop to take a picture of my bin....which was nice. It's also attracted attention from passing pedestrians, though I think it's just confirmed their thoughts that i'm a fruit loop

Today was the car servicing day that almost never was. The garage phoned me last night to try to rearrange it for another day, but alas I am not available any other day. I did suggest I'd drop it off and keep the courtesy car for as long as it took them to do it.....and amazingly they managed to fit me in today

As it turned out, it was a good thing they did it in one day. I arrived to collect my courtesy car and was told it was brand new, Japanese and supercharged....this all sounded good, until the immortal words, three cylinder engine :-(

So away I went in my Nissan Micra, and in fact I was surprised by just how quick it was, with 97bhp it doesn't hang around...which is good as someone might see you driving it.

I can't comment on how economic it was as every time I accelerated the fuel range dropped to 18 miles....I don't think they expect the average Micra driver to use the redline as a gear change indicator. So, in summary, if you're looking for a quick car that drives badly, looks awful, and generally leaves you feeling disappointed, then the Micra is for you......and no, I'm not on commission

It was a Frankie and Benny's breakfast today, and for a change our sausage, egg and bacon muffins actually came with sausage....this was absent last time...and very nice it was too. In fact had I not eaten a dairy milk before I left home, I could probably have finished it

I finished acquiring my foreign currency today, well I say acquiring, that sort of implies theft....so it was the right word. But in all seriousness I did hold up the Post Office

queue with questions about their pre pay credit cards which I duly purchased and loaded with some dollars. I believe it was the great philosopher Aloe Blacc that once said 'I need a dollar, a dollar, a dollar is what I need......hey hey'....

.....well he's clearly not visited New York recently as I believe a dollar, dollar, a dollar...wouldn't buy you very much....not even a hot dog.....as a side note, I always eat hot dogs in less than sex seconds for the same reason I eat bananas at speed

I'm not really sure what happened to this afternoon, it seems to have disappeared in a haze of dairy milk, mini eggs (for protein ;-) and TV. Although to be fair I did have to go and collect my car from the garage so that took some time

I filled my fuel tank up today, the first time in 24 days. I used to fill up 3 times a month, so I think subconsciously I've either started driving less or driving more sensibly.......I'm driving less

I could regale you with the story of my drive home at 2am Sunday morning, but to be honest I find it boring to type it so I doubt it would be interesting to read

My wife has returned from her 2 nights away today, so I'm sure we'll shortly be dealing with a very excited 3 year old....luckily I have mini eggs, sugar always calms children down.....right.....Right..... :-/

She's off out tonight to a Body Shop party and these 3 things individually sound ok. Bodies....yep, I like them. Shopping.......hmmm yeah it's ok, and who doesn't like Party's.......unless their political....they can kiss my grits. But for some reason the combination of all 3 delivers the kind of excitement that can only be achieved by driving a Nissan Micra

It is at this point, and with the vivid scarring of today's motoring that I shall leave you with some pictures. A mug that would fit in well in most workplaces, an accurate political reflection from my town and the best wall/tree combination you'll see today

Bye bye for now

Where you wheelie bin?

Well today was the first full day with my wheelie bin out the front. And it was a less than successful day, coming home to 9 political leaflets.

However.....they were for all the minor parties and with my post, so I think this may have been a delivery by Royal Mail so I'll delay judgement of my new bin technique until tomorrow

I had my hair cut on Saturday, now on recent visits I have asked for the my hair on top to be be length of the 'width of the hairdressers fingers', and this was the perfect length...didn't get in my eyes at all...who am I kidding, got more chance of my leg hair getting in my eyes than the hair on my head

The problem, I realised on this visit, is that the girl cutting my hair had significantly fatter fingers, and this has resulted in my hair being entirely the wrong length. Is is possible that they have employed a fatter fingered girl so that I am forced to return more regularly for haircuts....I think so

Yesterday was the first day ever that I've had Amelia overnight on my own (today will be the second). Don't get my wrong, I like to think of myself as a pretty active dad, my shift work means I spend a lot of days with Amelia, but an overnighter was a new one for me

Amelia went to her at half 6 last night, slept until 6:40 this morning with only one wake up to pop to bathroom. We chilled out and I even managed to sneak in a 90 minute bath, though Amelia was in the bath for some of that, before moving on to singing and playing the keyboard for me

We went out this morning with my parents, or Grandma and Grandpa as they are more commonly known, bit of shopping in Lyndhurst, where Amelia got what can only be described as a unicorn on a stick, basically a unicorn head with pole so you can pretend to ride it....we've all had one of these, though they are usually a horse....all the horse ones were sold to Tesco apparently

Out for lunch at a place Amelia calls 'The Moon' which is actually The Gateway, if you've seen the sign (it's a Premier Inn) then you'll understand

This afternoon was spent at Fleming Park soft play, and for this you have to have a wrist band. For a £1 deposit, you get 30 minutes to play. After 2 hours we were made to feel like criminals for our children still being in there, despite there being no other children waiting. We were asked to remove our children from the play area.

We ordered some dinner and by the time that had come, 15 minutes, the play area was completely empty....obviously desperate for our bands back then.

This evening will be starting with a Choc Dip....it's been a long time since I've had one, and they certainly weren't 73p the last time......so I'm expecting a lot more Choc and at least twice as much Dip

Pictures today, first a 'fitness related' one, a health and safety notice and one that shows I am amazingly economical

Bye bye for now

Skateboarding Grannies.....BINGO!!!

Skateboards. I just don't understand them.

I was walking home from the shops yesterday when I heard an incessant rumbling from behind me, droning on, getting louder and louder. Lo and behold, it was a young adult on a skateboard. He was barely moving faster than I was walking, putting in far more effort, and most importantly....looking a bit stupid whilst doing it

Bicycles I understand, roller skates I understand, but skateboards.......meh, not so much

I was watching The Jonathan Ross Show this morning, it was quite entertaining and whilst watching it I had a revelation. I've never noticed before just how much I look like Justin Timberlake.....not at all....not even a vague similarity. Well...that's not strictly true.

I have two legs, he has two legs, I have two arms, he has two arms, in fact we are both equally qualified to do the Hokey Cokey....and that's what it's all about

I think it's fair to say the only things we have in common are number of limbs, we both have hair, and we've both had massively successful music careers. Apart from these things, we couldn't be more different

So with all my limbs, hair, a voice of an angel and my fantastic sense of humour, just like Jason Manford, it was only really Joss Stone that I've nothing in common with....well except we're both fit blondes ;-)

I worked a 12 hour shift yesterday and by finish time at 2am I was exhausted, and still am, as tired as I've ever felt. So it seemed the only logical thing to do today after getting up at around 12 was to get into the gym and go for some personal best lifts....Happy Days

Jac is now away for a few days catching international criminals...sort of.....so it's Daddy Day Care until Tuesday. I just need to find a way of getting Amelia to sleep until 10am tomorrow and I may catch up on my sleep

This evening, once Amelia is in bed, will probably be spent sleeping, and eating, in fact the only thing stopping me from eating one of my arms right now is the amount of work I'd lose from the Justin Timberlake Lookalike Business

Oh, I've also moved my wheelie bin outside the front of my house and attached a sign saying 'Please place all political correspondence in here - I'll read it later'.....lets see if it has any success

Lets finish then with some pictures, a tortoise/turtle getting more than expected, old people not letting themselves get old, and a perfect magazine for the criminal in your life

Bye bye for now

Law Abusing Citizen

Well, yesterday was about the least popular blog I've written so far, I won't take it personally but more put it down to time and day of publishing, when those of you that don't work shifts were happily enjoying your Friday nights in or out

Well after finishing work I decided to join the standard 'Friday Nighters' and went to the pub. We had gone to celebrate a friends 28th ;-) birthday, and he doesn't look a day over 40

Due to driving to the pub and having to work today, I didn't drink, but it did cause great amusement that i was drinking 'apple and raspberry' J2O. It's the nicest flavour though unfortunately it is pink.

All in all it was a 'brilliant' night and we all now have 'diplomatic immunity'. These are two 'in' jokes that relate to people that I'm pretty sure won't read this but there you go

Two of my friends asked if I could give them a lift into town so they could continue the party. Now, I don't have an issue with helping people out but last time I have someone a lift to town I ended up getting caught speeding and ended up on a driver awareness course. It was a genuine mistake, everyone who knows me knows that I don't ever speed

So, as you can understand I was apprehensive, but figured I wouldn't be reckless and I now knew the speed limits so I couldn't possibly have a problem. I dropped them off and drove to the end of the road to turn round.

It was at this point that the police car reversed back in front of me, got out of the car, and proceeded to question whether I had been drinking, why I was there and where I was going. 'Apparently' it's frowned upon to drive the wrong way down a one way street ;-)

He advised me to follow him out of the road, he then turned left and I turned right, but he stopped, I wasn't sure whether he meant to carry on following him, so I turned around but by that point he had disappeared so I think I'm safe...or am I

Anyway, in to bed around 1, and overjoyed to be woken up at 5:30 by Amelia asking 'when's Abi coming to stay'.....tonight.....'what time'.....after lunch......'ok, see you in the morning'. As a result I am slightly fatigued now, to put it politely.

I was granted a morning of semi relaxation, had my hair cut, did some washing and some more form filling, I may even get that finished soon

I'm wanted to connect my iPad to the TV, but wasn't prepared to pay £30 for a lead. So I bought one on eBay for £10, some software for £5.....and now I have a wonderful plastic ornament and a plan to go and buy a lead from Apple

I'm on a 12 hour shift today so thought I'd get the blog done before I get too busy.....eating...sleeping etc. Whereas my colleague has just met and had his photo taken with Jimmy Carr.....and I'm in bloody Portsmouth

Today ill leave you with a company name Del Boy would be proud of, an unfortunate desk layout and the book I'm currently reading

Bye bye for now

A Rose by any other name.....

You may have grasped from previous blogs that my daughters name is Amelia, and I have always called her Amelia.

What's strange about that you may ask, well, I'm about the only person that does. Some call her melia, or Mills or Millie, and there's nothing wrong with that but it's just never sounded right to me.

It's strange because my name is Benjamin, and people have always called me, and I call myself, Ben. Not even my mother calls me Benjamin, nor can I remember her ever doing so. Some parents only use full names when kids are naughty, and that is why I've only ever been called Ben

I like to wind Jac up that she will eventually be called Amy, and Jac has nothing against the name, but refuses to accept that anyone will ever use it....I guess that will be down to Amy...I mean Millie...dammit, that will be down to Amelia to decide

As I sit in Fleet Services, watching the world go buy, I start to debate important things in life. McDonald's or KFC, WH Smiths or Waitrose. And the biggest decision of all, should you drive forwards into a space or reverse.

Today was MOT day for my 2nd car, I say MY car, that's not technically correct for 2 reasons. 1) it's driven by Jac. And B) it's actually registered to Banjamin Cummins. This is actually an improvement, it was initially registered to Mrs Benjamin Cummins, but the DVLA, presumably annoyed by the hassle of changing the V5 decided to change my sex and my name

Anyway, MOT day, and the car was dropped off on route to work this morning, with me playing chauffeur to Jac and Amelia. I don't mind this, I'm even happy to open the doors for them, the gloves I could handle, but the peaked cap is taking things a step too far

The good news is the car flew straight through, which is lucky as the MOT actually expired yesterday. Well I say straight through. It did pass, but one thing was pointed out. Apparently car engines need oil to run smoothly, the Corsa didn't really have any. I blame the dipstick....

Only 3 political leaflets today, though two were from the conservatives, 2 the same, posted at the same time.....at least they're concerned about their carbon footprint. I'd like to put a carbon footprint up their carbon arse

On late shifts today, my least favourite shifts as I miss out on my relaxing evening at home and since the arrival of my beloved Mills, I don't have the corresponding lie in

It's been steady today, just routine break down jobs, though I did experience a real 'first world problem' where the driver of a Porsche 911 had stopped to make a phone call as his 'Tracker' was playing up......I don't think I'll be starting a charity for that one

So I've written a whopper of a blog, shared some nuggets of information, got some chips off my shoulder and now it's time to burger off.....for a sandwich :-(

Lets finish with the best start to a news story I've heard since 'I thought she was an intruder', the most romantic restaurant table you could hope for and a sign telling you....well, I'm not really sure what its telling you

Bye bye for now

This is a Party Political Broadcast

Harassment - a feeling of intense annoyance caused by being tormented

I'm am well aware that I am possibly overdramatising the following situation, but it's gone a little beyond a joke now

At this point in time, I am undecided as to who I will be voting for in the upcoming Eastleigh by-election, I have however decided who I won't be voting for

Lets start with the Liberal Democrats. They delivered a leaflet, outlining their proposals etc, I set it to one side with the full intention of reading it. When the second one arrived, it was added to the pile. Unfortunately when the 3rd, 4th, 5th......arrived, that pile found its way to the bin.

Of course it's not enough to send you a leaflet EVERY SINGLE BLOODY DAY, of course they've got to knock your door every other day as well. It would be funny, if it wasn't so pathetic that they've even phoned me whilst writing this blog....I reiterated my thoughts to them as well. The excuse of 'well it's going to be really close between us and the conservatives' doesn't wash with me, and she was a little dismayed to hear that they would be getting one less vote due to their behaviour

And now, the conservatives. 2 leaflets already today!! (Oh and a wave from the obnoxious man delivering them) But we obviously don't warrant having our door knocked. I don't believe they actually give a toss what we think, they just believe that if they post enough rubbish through our door that we will think they are the best...based purely on volume of literature.......well Mrs Hutchings, you couldn't even win on that front

Voices of the people my arse, I've heard the voice of the people and it's saying 'stop forcing your propaganda bullshit through my door'

I think the only decision I have left to make, is do I vote for the 'Beer, Baccy & Crumpet Party' or the 'Elvis Loves Pets Party'

STOP! Pope Clown Beard

Today marks a momentous occasion, a end of a transitional period, for today I realised I have fully become a grumpy old man

I think when the day comes that you are quoting the Highway Code to someone, you know you're only a few short steps away from mobility scooters and incontinence pants

I regularly walk from my house to the town centre, it's around a 5 minute walk. There is a zebra crossing from one side of the road, across into the shopping centre, but I often choose to cross earlier, getting the sense of achievement that can only be gained by crossing laterally and longitudinally at the same time, this missing out one frivolous road crossing

Now all this is fine, but the early crossing necessitates a need to then cross the exit ramp from the multi storey car park, a ramp that is cleat marked with a STOP line. Now if I learnt nothing else from my driving course in October, I learnt that......errm....where was I. Sorry, i Iearnt that the Highway Code dictates the need to stop at this line.

And this is where I realise how sad I've become as for the past few months I've been desperately waiting to be crossing this ramp at the moment someone is driving down....and doesn't stop

Well ladies and gentlemen, today was that day. I even had Amelia on my shoulders for full effect. I approached be crossing, with caution obviously, and on spotting two cars still only halfway down the ramp, I proceeded to cross. They both braked sharply, one even skidding slightly, before proceeding to open the car window and shout abuse at me

I'd like to add at this point that I didn't and never would put my daughter at risk, with a decent run up I could probably jump this crossing....I wasn't 1998 regional long jump champion for nothing *

I did however take great delight in informing this 'lady' of the error of her ways. I also asked how she would appreciate someone driving like that around her children. I don't know if she was illiterate or ignorant, I'm thinking the latter but hopefully it may at least give her a reminder next time she approaches a stop line

Before anyone mentions that I'm being a moany old git, please re read the start of the blog, it's the whole point

Other than that it was a pretty boring day, could it be more boring?, I went to work, did a few jobs there, had Amelia this afternoon and managed to complete my computer based actions from last night

I've just had some dinner and in an hour or so I'm off the pub, I know!, to catch up with an old friend whom I've not seen for well over a year now.....though I think we did once go around 6 years without speaking so a year isn't so long

3 pictures for today, a job advert, a newspaper article related to the mother of 11 that's having a 6 bedroom house built for her 'on us', and an article that showcases something I am unable to grow.......maybe once I hit puberty eh

Bye bye for now

*it was actually 1995

**as if......I was always a high jumper

Sticky biscuits

A late blog tonight, which are generally less popular, I'm obviously a provider of tea time entertainment and by this time of night there's loads better to do

I've actually only just sat down to relax for the first time today, it's good to be busy, but it's also good to rest

First job of the day at work was a glue spillage on the off slip at junction 2 on the M27, a sticky situation (ha de ha), obviously now we don't want horse meat for Tesco burgers, the horses are running around motorways with disastrous consequences. This incident showed the inadequacies of our technology on the road, we needed an electronic display sign to show a lane closure on the slip road, couldn't be done. So we asked for signage to say 'skid risk on slip'...couldn't be done. 'Switch it off then, no point if it can't say what is actually going on'

At our next job I got to put my currently bad diet to good use. A young woman had broken down with her 2 year old son, she had breakdown cover, but didn't know who it was with...she'd also managed to leave her mobile phone at home...along with her coat. We managed to arrange her recovery, lent her a phone to call her boyfriend, but neither of these cheered up her son. Lucky I was on hand to provide an iced party ring biscuit. I'm not sure what the woman thought of me driving around with biscuits for kids, but hey it cheered up the little lad for a few minutes

Back home from work at 2....I realised at around 6:30 that we'd be short staffed this afternoon, but since no one bothered to ask me to stay on late until 13:58, I didn't bother.....anyway I had a hot date planned this afternoon, to free myself from the shackles of work uniform and get hot and sweaty....in the gym. Squats day today, which I love, and managed to hit a new personal best :-)

Had a shower then have spent the last 5 hours doing some work on the computer, fingers crossed something good will come of it

Only saw Amelia for about 30 minutes tonight, she came home from nursery in a terrible mood, exhausted from a day at 'forest school' which is basically outdoor play at nursery, but they do teach them quite a lot at the same time

Tomorrow will be my last early shift for a week, which is nice, but on the downside it means tomorrow is my last evening off until Sunday. Still my wife may be away on Sunday so at least I can spread out in the bed at night :-)

So...pictures. The best window cleaners a children's hospital could hope for, a pizza disaster and a crazy estate agent

No time for weighting around

Today was a pretty hectic day at work, my 3rd early shift of 5 and the first one for which I am only being paid my standard wage...booo

I've often debated whether I made an error in ever telling anyone that we're generally pretty quiet at work, it has given people a much lower opinion of the job and of me. But the truth is, we are generally pretty quiet so it was nice today to have a steady stream of jobs. I'll be honest, there was nothing major, but a series of breakdowns and debris jobs....if you happened to be heading eastbound around Portsmouth on the M27 this morning then I probably delayed your journey for a few minutes, or rather the vehicle that blew out a tyre and the sign that fell over delayed your journey

It made a pleasant change to have a good working day with the police today as well, us assisting them and vice versa, this is the way it should be

I did today, obviously not in work time, manage to watch the film 'The Seven Psycopaths', it wasn't quite what I was expecting but was actually pretty good and the 2 hours went by quickly

Monday, as always, is daddy day care day, around my shifts, so it was straight from work to my mum's house to collect Amelia. She was as always full of beans....until she got in the car where she promptly fell asleep. We got home, I transferred her to bed, and proceeded to relax by emptying the dishwasher etc. I woke her up a little later for dinner, she wanted pasta which suited me as I was more than a little peckish, then Jac arrived home a little after 5

I've just finished an hours workout in the gym, took it quite steady today as managed to get a twinge in my back last week that I want to treat carefully....I really don't need a back problem or I could end up laid up in bed. It's just fortunate I don't have a formal warning for sickness and a probation hanging over me......oh wait :-(

Have made the decision that I really need to sort out my diet, I don't mean slimming world, Atkins, cabbage or any such like, but more a healthier eating plan to support not only my workouts but also long term health, so I'm gonna get straight on it.......when I get back from New York

In all seriousness (i seem to say that a lot) it does amuse me the number of people that want to keep eating crap, not doing any exercise, and yet expect to lose weight and get in shape. In fairness I've been there myself, and I certainly haven't got the eating right, but there really is no easy magic formula, just consistency, good diet and efficient training

Today I have two pictorial representations of body shape, it's interesting how we all have different tastes and personal targets, but wouldn't life be boring if we were all the same. Also my recipe review of the day, and a child's unfortunate answer to an old age question

Bye bye for now

The unfortunate burst rubber

In a funny sort of way I've managed to go full circle with my blog today, and will do my best not to repeat my first one

Last night was a standard rock and roll Saturday night for parents of a young child. I say young child, as Amelia certainly isn't a baby...and I don't do all that 'she'll always be my baby' tosh, to call her a toddler implies that she has only just started walking, and calling her a walker would imply she is something used with my young babies or old ladies

Anyway, I digress, last night was a pretty standard evening, finished at the disco around 6:45, home, into pink fluffy pyjamas and on the sofa for a warm milk, right now you're expecting a joke along the lines of 'that was just me, Amelia had some milk too, hahaha. But seriously, we came home, I put on my pink fluffy pyjamas and had some warm milk

Amelia was in bed around 7:30, and I don't actually remember having any dinner. I had some chicken escalopes (2 for £3 at Asda, ham and cheese, mmmmm) around 3pm, and that was it. So around 8 o'clock I went for a bath, I like to have a bath on the evening before an early shift as its too noisy to have one at 5am and Jac would appreciate Amelia being woken up at that time about as much as Amelia would

I may have drifted off slightly in the bath, drifted off to sleep as opposed to out to sea, our bath really wouldn't last long in open water.....nor would I, though with some recent McDonald's breakfasts etc I'm on my way to becoming a wonderful flotation device.

Out that bath around 10pm, and had to stay to for a while as I'd washed my hair. If I wash my hair on the night before an early shift, I have to wax it and let it dry before bed, I've just let it dry before thinking I'd style it in the morning only to wake up, and spend the day, looking like Mr Majeika.....for those too young to remember Mr Majeika, my humour clearly won't be 'street' enough for you

Back on early shift again today, overtime again so easy money. Anyone that read my blog yesterday will recall that I was aiming for 50-60% effort today.....and it's always good to have something to aim for, even if you don't quite achieve it

This afternoon I arrived home to an empty house so decided to strip down Amelia's back wheel again. It keeps deflating and whilst I can't find a puncture, there must be one somewhere. Some vigorous pumping ensued, I got it wet as well, that's generally a good way to find the hole, but again nothing.

Having taken the thing apart 3 times now with no success, I decided that the time had come to go crazy and buy a new inner-tube, a £4.99 purchase no less. This has been installed, the bike reassembled, and ridden happily twice around the block. Fingers firmly crossed that this is problem solved, otherwise I may just buy a new bike

Time now to give Amelia a bath and hair wash...it is February after all, i'm still anxiously awaiting our first meter reading for water, this may effect the number of baths etc taken in the house and may lead to us recycling waste water for other uses

Tonight promises to be at least as exciting as last night, though I'm predicting a high chance of pasta and meatballs consumption and possibly some televisual viewing before the Groundhog Day begins again and it's bath followed by bed

Hope you've all had a good weekend, in case you've not checked Facebook, it's over now and it's Monday tomorrow. But guess what, only 5 days until the weekend

Today I shall leave you with a couple of funny pictures and a couple which are just nice pictures

Have a good evening

Bye bye for now

Poker, Snakes & Disco Ladders

Poker last night was less successful that I had hoped it would be, still an enjoyable evening, but having gambled £1200* and only won £600* it was at least 100% less successful that it could have been....though also 100% more successful than it could have been. Still, only having 4 players meant I was at least home and into bed by a sensible time, around 12:30....which is perfect for a 5am start

In to work for an overtime shift today, which as you can imagine after around 4 hours sleep is not exactly the greatest fun. The advantage of an overtime shift though being that you get 150% of the pay for around 47% of the effort......48% if pushed really hard

Having enjoyed myself so much today though :-/ I decided that it would be a great idea to volunteer to work the early shift tomorrow as well....and tomorrow there's no room for laziness, I'm aiming for a solid 50-60% effort

Something I always find funny is people that have broken down on the motorway.....that firstly park neatly between the lines on the hardshoulder, as opposed as far to the left as possible, I appreciate this is instinctive and not a conscious decision but this makes it no less silly, but then they refuse to get out of the car.

There are people, far too many people, that believe they are safer in their car than behind a barrier so they just stay where they are. I am regularly told that they are safer in the car because it will protect them from harm because 'its metal isn't it'. I was once told by someone that he was safer in his car during a storm, despite visibility and road conditions being treacherous, because if he stands near a tree on the bank, he'll get struck by lightning. I believe there are times when there's a valid case for involuntary euthanasia

Home from work and into Peppa Pig dominos and snakes & ladders with Jac and Amelia, both of which she's far too good at.....I may have to enter her into the Snakes & Ladders World Championships

The afternoon was finished off with a trip to the kids disco, Amelia spent most of the time standing with Jac and I, but obviously got fully into dancing 5 minutes before we needed to leave

I can feel an early night coming on as tomorrow is another early start, so ill end here with some pictures. A stonking offer from Asda, Life of Pi supermarket edition and a sensible road warning










Bye bye for now

*£12 & £6

Toastie Trains sea bollards smoking

You'd think it would be a struggle to be constantly amusing and entertaining, especially in a blog, it's just very fortunate for me that I'm generally neither so there's no pressure

Today was Valentines Part II, and started at Costa McCoffee. I don't drink hot drinks, never have.....well strictly speaking I think I once had a cup of tea at my aunties house but that was in around 1989, so I wouldn't describe myself as regular drinker....so Jac had a Mocha Chocalata ya ya (oh yea)
Creole lady Marmalade...and I had 2 ham and cheese toasties.

I full admire the way that Costa is able to charge £2.85 for 2 slices of bread, a slice of ham and some cheese, so much so I had two of them....combined value around forty pence.....however, short of carrying a sandwich maker around, I couldn't have made my own on the move

We were off to town and for a change thought we would leave the car at home, so we went old school and walked to the train station. For those unfamiliar, this is the place where you can pay £3.90 to go around 5 miles....and people say petrol is expensive....our thinking was that with the extra money saved by not having to pay for parking, we would only be massively worse off for not driving

The purpose of our visit was to use the tickets Jac bought me yesterday to the Sea City Museum. I've always been quite interested in the Titanic, even before seeing Kate Winslet naked, so this was the perfect present. It was a very interestimg exhibition, slightly lacking in details about the building of the ship etc, but instead focusing on the lives of certain crew of the ship. All in all, very worth a visit, and it was also very interesting to see the old court room within the building....and the old toilets





We made a quick trip to the Apple shop, partly to get some headphones for a mate, but mainly because by using the Apple Store app, you are legally allowed to feel like a shoplifter by scanning and paying for the item on your phone and then just walking out.....you do have to make sure you have your phone with you though, otherwise you are actually just a shoplifter

We took the train back to Eastleigh and began the walk home, pausing only to take a picture of the best parking I have seen for some time










I imagine her last words as the collision occurred were likely to have been 'OH BOLL.....ARDS'

I don't want to say too much about what I did when we got home, as I'm waiting to see if Jac notices, but suffice to say it was a new experience, and not one I intend to repeat for some time....if ever

This was followed by walking back to Eastleigh, forward planning is the key, to buy two new smoke detectors. I noticed that ours was no longer working and a change of battery proved ineffective so I bought two shiny new ones and they are now living happily in our home

Tonight is Poker Night, the first one of the year, and it nearly didn't happen this time due to people pulling out later than a naive teenager. It'll be good to have some 'all in' action with the lads again, and lets hope we can get back to a more regular routine

I've trialled including some pictures throughout the blog today but I'll still include some at the end

Just one more thing, I think I've switched on adverts on my blog, I don't expect to get rich from them, but I just wanted to see how they would effect the page, so any feedback is appreciated before I switch them off again

So, pictures, a disgruntled baby, new foreign currency and a first look at our camping holiday for this year











Bye bye for now

Breakfast, Bowling & Burgers.....A Valentines Love Story

Today started with an incorrectly timed dentist appointment, it was at half past 8, and we all know there is only one time of the day that you should make that particular visit

After a couple of hours to allow the anaesthetic to wear off a little it was time for a Valentines Day breakfast.

My date was a little older than me, a little shorter, not quite as good looking and could probably have done with a shave but hey he's a good mate and we both had the day off so what better to do than go for breakfast and then a movie

The choice of film was 'A Good Day to Die Hard'. It has been panned by critics and slated by viewers, so we knew it was going to be the perfect Bruce Willis production. It won't set the world alight, but is still worth a watch and is an entertaining way to spend a couple of hours

When we were en route to breakfast, a discussion was had that it may appear that we were lovers on way to a romantic breakfast. My mate suggested that in fact it would be obvious that we were having a lads brekkie before taking our respective other halves out later on, so that's what I did

Some people have accused me of being tight in the past, in fact my nickname among some people is actually 'Blackheart'. I wholeheartedly refute this accusation and I reiterated my thoughts on this to Jacqueline as we started our game of bowling.......paid for using a '2 free games' voucher......oh!

Still to make up for the possible show of scrimp, I did the only decent thing a loving husband can do.....I won the bowling

This would be a good time for any unlucky ladies to look away, as I don't want you becoming any more jealous of my blessed wife.
We followed the bowling with a romantic dinner for two...and she could even have had fries with it. She didn't get a free toy, but it was still a happy meal.....'happy meal'.....get it......we had KFC*

The halogen lit dinner was followed, and the evening concluded, by a trip to the cinema (my second of the day for those counting). This time it was to see 'I Give it a Year' a new British comedy.

I would highly recommend this film......predictable, cheesy, even a little crude....is how most people would describe me, and I think this is why I loved the film so much

So my wife didn't get flowers, but instead a wonderful evening with a wonderful man...........Me!

I should probably be off to bed now, since there's still half an hour of valentines day left, wink wink, I'm kidding, she's asleep....stop it

So I'll leave you with a few pictures. An unfortunate spelling mistake, a great offer from Ikea...and a sign of the times

Bye bye for now




*Mcdonalds

What is love?

For some reason I can find the words I want to write today, so this may be a bit garbled and may not quite get my message across, but it's the best I can manage :-/

I never really expected a blog to be inspired by Ricky Gervais, in fact I never actually expected to watch his current tv series Derek. The pilot made it seem to be very patronising and absent of humour but last nights episode has definitely changed that for me

What is love? Love isn't a bunch of a flowers and a card on one day of the year. Buying these things on a pre determined day just for appearances is not love

A friend of mine said it right when telling me that he wouldn't buy flowers today as his wife wouldn't appreciate it, he'll buy them when he wants to show his love for her, at a time that suits him, at a time that's right for her

Love is not just something you have for family, not just for friends, but it should be for everyone. I've spoken before about jobs that I respect, difficult and challenging jobs, and the people that do them. But a job I think is forgotten is that of the the hospice carers and retirement home workers. This is not to belittle the work of nurses and doctors, but many people will pass through a hospital. No one passes through a hospice or a retirement home

Whereas I think there are a lot of dangerous jobs I could do, hard jobs, I know that I could never do the work that people do in these places. To allow people to keep their dignity, their pride, to enjoy the days, weeks or years they have left and to know that when their pain and suffering end everyone else's begins, but to not let that effect your care for others, to keep smiling and keep going

The influence from Derek was the story of the elderly lady who's daughter obviously visited her sporadically, not caring about her well being or her life, but only for her wedding ring, the only possession of monetary value. This was also all she cared about when she died, that no one had stolen what was 'hers'. This wasn't love, this was selfish greed

I suppose the message, is that of course it's lovely to buy presents on valentines day, it's lovely to receive them as well, but don't let that be the only day that you show your love and appreciation for those around you.

We don't know how long anyone has left, our futures are not written, we will all experience death, but we need to make sure we experience life!





Bye bye for now

Lights, Camera, Action

Well other than being filmed for a possible new tv show, today has been a pretty standard day

Awoken around 7:30, and a relaxed start, playing dens with Amelia under the covers with a torch, then bath and dressed

Amelia and I did some sticking and cutting, she's better at it than me, but has arguably had more recent practice than I have....plus I think they're training her at nursery

We then walked to Eastleigh, well I say 'we' walked, on the way there at least I did the walking and Amelia did the 'being carried on my shoulders'. Trip to the bank to withdraw my gambling money for Friday night poker.....£20 in pound coins, it's a high rollers only game.....no matchsticks here

Back home for some art attack, mister maker etc whilst I tidied the kitchen and spoke on the phone to the TV company people organising their visit

Jac had a half day today, so it was operation tidy up when she got home, not that the house was particularly untidy, but there is a certain image you'd want to portray on film and a sofa with stains from apricot jelly wasn't it

I imagine it may have looked quite intriguing to passers by, seeing a camera crew etc in our living room as we were interviewed on tape. Although, being Eastleigh, people would have probably assumed it was a police interview or something for Crimewatch

I don't want to say too much about what it was for, nothing may even come of it, but it was definitely an experience and you can learn a lot in 2 hours it talking....even managed to squeeze a little workout into the video, though being interviewed whilst doing dips is not something I'd recommend...it will increase your number of reps though

I was told by a friend recently that people will stop reading my blog if I don't start doing things which are more interesting, so today I've taken the first step towards being more interesting....not that I'm too worried, people read all sorts of boring shit online so I reckon I'm safe for a little while at least

I've not had the opportunity to source any particularly funny photos for today, so I'm gonna scrape the barrel and see what comes out.

A new pay and display parking system, a bird that's looking to do some 'bird' and a guide to stroking pets











Bye bye for now