Taken a bazaar twist

Ok so every year Apple release a new iPhone. Each time the new phone is very similar to the last and in many ways inferior to other phones on the market.  But amazingly despite all of this the Apple fan boyz (should that be one word or two, should it be a Z....god I'm so old) lap it up like a 7 year old laps up sweets....but only on Saturdays #responsibleparent

So yesterday morning as all the 'losers' were logging on to pre order their 'new' phones, I was sat, laughing to myself at how ridiculous it all is........oh, and ordering my new iPhone 7 plus 

I discussed with two friends, who coincidentally will also be ordering phones, what the benefits of the larger screened 'plus' model were over the normal iPhone 7 and do you know what their 3 answers were:

1 - a better camera

2 - longer battery life 

3 - better for watching porn 

Now let me tell you, I wasn't gonna be swayed by a marginally better camera or an extra few minutes of battery life, so I'm not really sure what attracted me to the bigger phone 

I'm writing my blog at around 4:30 this morning from a Bristol hotel room, after waking up at 2am not having a clue where I was.  Oh no, this was not a 'Taken' style abduction, I'm not being prepared to be sold on to the Eastern European sex trafficking network....I'm certain that those individuals do not get a night in a Premier Inn first, well, unless we've actually discovered the real reason that Dawn French left Lenny Henry

I was described yesterday as gorgeous, handsome, funny, kind, sarcastic, annoying and a bit of a nobhead.....I don't think I'm getting these self esteem pep talks quite right.  In all seriousness though I was told recently by someone that they could see a similarity between me and Leonard DiCaprio, and you're thinking 'you're taking the piss aren't you', well to the doubters, all I can say is, have you ever seen me freeze to death holding on to a door floating in the middle of the ocean, no?, well then you have no comparison

I realised about half an hour ago that I didn't really have anything to write today, but I'm awake and there are no custard creams in the room so I had to do something.

Oh, you're probably (not) wondering why I'm in Bristol.  Well today I shall be working at an affordable home ownership roadshow.  I originally typed out the name of the show but then that might create a link between my blog and the event, and therefore my employer....and the last thing we want is something entertaining and amusing linked with housing, that would give totally the wrong impression

The aim of today is to give members of the general public advice on affordable home ownership, I know, shocking right, and actually the events are quite good fun.  I am a self confessed hater of people, so you wouldn't think I would enjoy interacting with some many members of the public, but if there is one thing I like more than not talking to people, it's being nosey about people's lives so in a funny sort of way it's the perfect day for me

I was woken up this morning at a point in a dream that was quite emotional, and I've noticed recently that my dreams have been a lot more closely related to my day to day life, and so it was that a big part of last nights dreams were about trampolining and theme park visits (both trips planned for the near future), I'm hoping desperately for a dream tonight about a lottery win.  On the plus side though, whilst tired today, I am feeling good

Now you may wonder what the relevance of this is, well you see last night I visited a restaurant called 'Za Za Bazaar'.  It is essentially all the food you might like, all in one place, buffet style, all you can eat.  It really was the most bazaar (see what I did there) place I've ever eaten, and I ate far more food than I really should have.  So today could have so easily started with ill feeling or food poisoning, but no, as true athletes are not taken down by just one meal, and neither am I 

It may surprise those that know me, that in the last 6/7 weeks I've actually lost 17lb in weight and am now the lightest I have been for probably 10 years....but panic not, I think I found most of the weight again last night.  Now I never set out to lose weight, it just sort of happened.  And it may also surprise you that there is actually a word for men that lose weight through little effort and for no reason....'bastards' is that word, or so I've been told by most women I've spoken to about my problem  ;-)

I feel like I'm waffling on a little bit now and to be honest I've sort of run out of jokes, which surprised me almost as much as me being full up at dinner last night....I guess I knew that day would eventually come.  So I'll leave you to enjoy your weekends, whatever you choose to do, don't waste the day*

*i don't consider staying in bed a waste of a day

Happy Saturday mother truckers