Good afternoon/evening/morning to you all
My first blog for a few weeks now and it's a big one, in content rather than length, well, possibly both....anyway you get the idea
This week has been a massive week for me as two important things have happened. Let's start with the smaller of the two.
So round 8-9 years ago, having found myself temporarily unemployed, I decided I would start studying, I ordered the study manuals, bought all the stuff I needed to be productive with it, and around 5 years later....I threw it all away having never opened it
Fast forward to last August/September. It was around this time that my last relationship ended. An event I have written about at length so let's not go into that again. But one thing that did come out of it was encouragement from my ex partner to start studying something again. I think it was possibly to take my mind off of things and make the whole break up a little easier but I also know that despite everything else she had always been supportive and at that time at least wanted the best for me
So it was that I decided to look at financial qualifications again. I like money, I understand it, and I have an interest in property. The logical choice seemed to be the CeMAP qualification, that's Certificate in Mortgage Advice and Practice to you uneducated folks ;-)
I signed up for the course in August. Then I began a horrendous few months of starting treatment for depression, the dissolving of my family and everything that went along with both of those. I was in no place to think about studying anything...to be honest, every time I tried, I just fell asleep.
Fast forward again to December and having received an email saying that I was soon approaching the halfway point of my membership to the organisation facilitating my study, I realised I needed to crack on. I passed the first two exams in December, I passed the next one in January and, after a small hiccup, I have just passed the remaining 4. I am now CeMAP qualified!!!
Just need to find a job ;-)
So that's CeMAP and an NVQ in housing both completed in the last 8 or 9 months, not bad considering I've studied nothing for the last 16 years!!
So if this was the smaller of the two events, what was the big one.
Well. I am now off of all medication for depression. I started to reduce my dose around Christmas and have very gradually reduced it to the point that this week I am not taking anything at all!!
I don't know how the next few weeks/months will go, I cannot promise that I will remain free from help, but for now at least I am, and I'm feeling great. I am back to exercising more, trying to eat a little better (I managed 6 weeks with no sweets, crisps or biscuits) and I'm feeling so much more positive about everything
Quick update on the romantic situation right now......
So all in all everything is currently pretty awesome. I'm moving house in the next couple of weeks, back to my own flat that I've been renting out for the last couple of years. Big changes are occurring there and it's going to be awesome. And it's just going to be me, Amelia and Alexa....she makes life so much easier and if she gets on your nerves you just turn her off...and if there's one thing I'm an expert at, it's turning women off
Have a great weekend party people
Saturday 25 February 2017
Tuesday 7 February 2017
Just listen
Hello hello hello and welcome to 2017
I trust you all had a great Christmas and new year. Can I still say Happy New Year in February....I guess that's down to whoever is writing this blog. I've heard he's a handsome young fella, intelligent, funny, an all round awesome guy.....so I reckon it's safe to say Happy. New. Year
So despite the hilarious and upbeat start I'm afraid to say that this blog is a little more downbeat and reflective. It's been an emotional few weeks and it's taken its toll a little
So I made the decision at Christmas that I wanted to come off of the antidepressants, the crazy pills as I call them. It felt like the time was right and to be honest I was struggling with the lack of sleep, the crazy dreams, just the all round 'is this really me' thought process
So at Christmas I halved my dose and last week I halved it again, now down to 50mg every other day, by the end of the month all being well I will be off of them completely....and I'll find out if it's really the medication making me crazy
Touch wood I'm feeling good right now
So, an update, I've effectively been single now for just over 6 months, and hasn't time flown. It's only really the second time I've ever been single since 2000.....when I was 5....obviously ;-). But seriously, 6 months, it's crazy. Are there still times when I feel sad about what I lost, of course there are, but that's the past and there's nothing to be gained from dwelling there
Now today's blog is about a different sort of loss. And the first reason I cried this year...
As some of you will know, I am moving house soon, and as part of that process I promised Amelia she could have a new bed. A high sleeper. To be honest it has the great benefit of nearly doubling the useable space in her bedroom so it's functional too
I started looking at kids beds, found an awesome company that make some even more awesome beds.....for about £1500!! I started to think, surely it would be so much cheaper to just make one myself (please note 'myself' means paying a handyman to make one'). This unfortunately brought back the memory of my late bother in law, he sadly died nearly 6 years ago, and not long before he died he built a bed for his daughter. The perfect bed for a 5 year old, a pink princess castle bed.
He would have been the person I would have called to help me build a dream bed (see what I did there) for Amelia....so I guess I'll be heading to eBay
The second reason I've cried this week is unfortunately something I cannot post about. I will once again follow my rule of not posting about other people's personal lives. All I will say is that I've been disgusted, disappointed, upset, devastated in fact. To know that someone I care about has been dealing with something that no person should ever have to deal with has torn me apart. I feel emotional even thinking about it now.
Remember that we never truly know what other people are going through. Try not to judge without thought. They say that you can't pour from an empty cup and whilst I would dispute the fact that anyone pours from a cup, I understand the message
Take care of l yourself, that's number 1. But, taking care of your loved ones, that's also number 1. The hardest thing is trying to help someone that doesn't think they need any help. Being supportive doesn't always mean speaking your mind, you have two ears and one mouth....because to be honest you'd look really fucking strange if it was the other way around.....so remember that just listening is one of the best ways to support someone
I like to believe in karma, the idea that a good deed is rewarded and more importantly that a despicable act or acts are eventually punished....let's hope so
So I've talked shit for long enough, and I do actually have to go to work today
I guess if I could finish this with one clear message it would just be...
Open your eyes. Open your ears. Open your arms. Open your heart. And sometimes, sometimes, keep your mouth shut.
Have a great day
I trust you all had a great Christmas and new year. Can I still say Happy New Year in February....I guess that's down to whoever is writing this blog. I've heard he's a handsome young fella, intelligent, funny, an all round awesome guy.....so I reckon it's safe to say Happy. New. Year
So despite the hilarious and upbeat start I'm afraid to say that this blog is a little more downbeat and reflective. It's been an emotional few weeks and it's taken its toll a little
So I made the decision at Christmas that I wanted to come off of the antidepressants, the crazy pills as I call them. It felt like the time was right and to be honest I was struggling with the lack of sleep, the crazy dreams, just the all round 'is this really me' thought process
So at Christmas I halved my dose and last week I halved it again, now down to 50mg every other day, by the end of the month all being well I will be off of them completely....and I'll find out if it's really the medication making me crazy
Touch wood I'm feeling good right now
So, an update, I've effectively been single now for just over 6 months, and hasn't time flown. It's only really the second time I've ever been single since 2000.....when I was 5....obviously ;-). But seriously, 6 months, it's crazy. Are there still times when I feel sad about what I lost, of course there are, but that's the past and there's nothing to be gained from dwelling there
Now today's blog is about a different sort of loss. And the first reason I cried this year...
As some of you will know, I am moving house soon, and as part of that process I promised Amelia she could have a new bed. A high sleeper. To be honest it has the great benefit of nearly doubling the useable space in her bedroom so it's functional too
I started looking at kids beds, found an awesome company that make some even more awesome beds.....for about £1500!! I started to think, surely it would be so much cheaper to just make one myself (please note 'myself' means paying a handyman to make one'). This unfortunately brought back the memory of my late bother in law, he sadly died nearly 6 years ago, and not long before he died he built a bed for his daughter. The perfect bed for a 5 year old, a pink princess castle bed.
He would have been the person I would have called to help me build a dream bed (see what I did there) for Amelia....so I guess I'll be heading to eBay
The second reason I've cried this week is unfortunately something I cannot post about. I will once again follow my rule of not posting about other people's personal lives. All I will say is that I've been disgusted, disappointed, upset, devastated in fact. To know that someone I care about has been dealing with something that no person should ever have to deal with has torn me apart. I feel emotional even thinking about it now.
Remember that we never truly know what other people are going through. Try not to judge without thought. They say that you can't pour from an empty cup and whilst I would dispute the fact that anyone pours from a cup, I understand the message
Take care of l yourself, that's number 1. But, taking care of your loved ones, that's also number 1. The hardest thing is trying to help someone that doesn't think they need any help. Being supportive doesn't always mean speaking your mind, you have two ears and one mouth....because to be honest you'd look really fucking strange if it was the other way around.....so remember that just listening is one of the best ways to support someone
I like to believe in karma, the idea that a good deed is rewarded and more importantly that a despicable act or acts are eventually punished....let's hope so
So I've talked shit for long enough, and I do actually have to go to work today
I guess if I could finish this with one clear message it would just be...
Open your eyes. Open your ears. Open your arms. Open your heart. And sometimes, sometimes, keep your mouth shut.
Have a great day
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