A goodbye to nursery

Today marks the end of an era, another big stage in my daughter growing up, her last day at nursery

Now I guess for people without kids, nursery may be seen as just a babysitting service, somewhere to leave the kids whilst you go to work, or the shops or wherever

This is not my experience of nursery, and certainly not of The Aviary in Eastleigh 

There's personal information that I won't go into but when Amelia started nursery it was at a time of great difficulty and they welcomed her like their own child

Amelia started at The Aviary when she was 6 months old, her mum was returning to work and whilst we had great family support we needed some additional help with childcare, I work shifts so don't have set days off each week

Amelia loves her nursery, she loves the staff, she loves the building and loves the garden. Above all she loves the friends that she has made. Now if you've ever had a child at school or nursery you'll know there's always a child that cries when their parent leaves, maybe its your child, but Amelia has never cried when dropped off there

The last several months have been hard for Amelia, big changes have happened at home, she's turned 4, and next week she starts school, Big School as we've been calling it for the last few months.  Throughout all of this, one constant that she has had in her life has been nursery 

Today is the end of that. 

44 months of twice or thrice weekly visits there. A goodbye to the staff and helpers. It's not a goodbye to her friends but of course she won't see as much of them, they won't have the days of the week when they always see each other

Maybe it is effecting me more than it's effecting her, she'll start her new school and she'll love it. She'll make new friends, have new teachers and have so much fun. But I know it's made her sad

She didn't want to leave when her mum collected her yesterday and I know for sure she won't want to leave today. I'll be at work this afternoon so I won't get to be there for the end of her last day, but to be honest that's probably not a bad thing, it will be an emotional time and I think tears will be shed, by her mum if no one else

And so we look forward to the next adventure, Big School, starting next Friday. Next week is my last chance to spend time with Amelia before she's a proper school pupil. And as I dropped her off yesterday I told her, as I thought it would be, that this would be the last time I dropped her at nursery and what she said really effected me.  She said 'maybe you could pick me up from big school sometimes daddy'. Half statement but half question. Looking for reassurance that I would still be there for her

Psychologists will tell you that a child will behave better for the parent that doesn't live with them, as though they have to behave because otherwise that parent may just give up and stop seeing them.  I desperately hope that's not how Amelia feels and I have, and will continue to, reassure her that I will always be there for her

I can't be there every morning, I can't be there every evening. She'll have experiences without me and I'll miss some milestones. But I'll be there as much as I can, and she'll know that I'm only ever a phone call away 

And most importantly I'll be there at the gates as she joins her new school and there when she finishes her first day. To take pictures in her new uniform and to cherish every moment of her new learning experience

I have no doubt that my daughter, along with the love and support of me and especially her mum, will go on to achieve great things in life, and this is only the closing of one door as another one flies open

I love you Amelia 

Housey housey, play housey housey

Things are getting serious

I am currently flat hunting. As some of you may know, I live in a pretty reasonable one bedroom flat in Eastleigh, with a few downsides.  

The first one is a man we'll call Smokey Robinson. I wouldn't like to guess how many cigarettes he smokes a day, but we'll choose a conservative figure and say 27000.  Well he lives downstairs. In his defence I think he has reduced his smoking, maybe 26500 now. But I am still greeted by that 'sweet' aroma whenever I come home

The next problem is the Conservative club next door.  This is a place I expected to be frequented by the more mature residents of Eastleigh, with the loudest thing perhaps being a bingo night. But oh no. Even looking past the loud, foul mouthed scrotes that hang around out the front, smoking Smokey's extra 500 fags. The main issue is the Friday Karaoke night and the live band on a Saturday 

I'm no expert in running a club, my last experience back in the 80's was unsuccessful. Apparently milk club should always have a healthy supply of milk....what can I say...I was let down by suppliers. But one thing I do know is if you want people to come and watch a live band, either supply very cheap alcohol, or, as crazy as it sounds, a good quality band.  I can only assume that beer is 10 pence a pint next door

So anyway, I'm flat hunting. Hunting to buy, not rent. And you'd think this would be easier or at least more enjoyable. But no.

See the problem with hunting to buy is that you're not making a 6-12 month commitment, you're going to be there for some time, maybe even the rest of your life. So the decision has to be right, or at least as right as it can be

The next problem with buying, is budget. You set a price, but how much above that price do you allow yourself to search, taking into account the 'cheeky offer' equation. Some would say go 10% above what you can afford, some say more. I guess it depends very much on how cheeky you are 

So I set my search criteria at around 5% above what I can afford, I typed my search criteria into Rightmove (other property based websites/apps are available) and waited for the hundreds of choices that fitted exactly what I need. Hundreds didn't happen. Tens didn't happen. In fact over the last 4 or 5 months of searching, daily, I'm pretty much left with 4, maybe 5 flats. 

I can't afford a house, and I can't afford an actual flat (flats have maintenance charges that shally equate to over £100 a month) so I'm left with maisonettes, purpose built or conversions.  

The downside to my choice of 4 or 5 flats is 3 of them are in the same road as the house I recently moved from, the house that my wife and daughter currently and will continue to occupy. And when I say the same road, what I mean is that one is two doors down, the other two are across the road and two doors down. I'm sure you can appreciate my dilemma.

However enough of that, the humour of property searching is in the estate agents themselves. And pretty much all the estate agents I've ever dealt with have been incompetent.

I was due to view 4 properties on Thursday, all with the same agent, so they were done as a block booking.  The viewings were booked for 3pm so you can imagine my delight when at 10pm the agent phoned to say that one of them was cancelled. Apparently the vendor doesn't do viewings in the daytime, they have to be after 5:30, a fact that the agent was well aware of. 

They then phoned again to cancel a second viewing, this vendor insisted on being there for viewings, but I couldn't see it because they were going to be home all day. Yes that's not a typo, I couldn't see a flat that had to be occupied for viewings, because the vendor was at home

I think I may have made my annoyance clear on the phone when the estate agent appeared to whimper slightly, telling me he was only doing his best. That's me, I'm like a cage fighting champion.....on the phone.....30 miles away

Now the first viewing went without trauma. It was a nice little flat. Some people wouldn't choose to live behind a dog grooming salon, or on a main road, or opposite a primary school. But other than that it was ok. Well, except for the fact that I'd have had to take half the kitchen out just to change the washing machine. Oh, and Amelia would have had to sleep curled up as there wasn't really space for a bed in the second bedroom. So that was a no

At the second viewing the agent arrived before me, I was still walking down. He then informed me that the tenant wasn't at home and he didn't have a key. This was another person that had insisted on being present for all viewings and had assured the agents that she would be there. 

Well she didn't factor in my agent going back to the office to get a key. And actually it was a fantastic flat, the only downside I could find in fact was that it didn't have a freezer, or space for one really, but that's not the end of the world. The viewing went well....a fact that the agent was pleased about as he said 'I was worried if I'd cocked this up that you were going to punch me'.  Success, the agent is scared. Hopefully I can get him to add 5% to my deposit 

A viewing I had the next day was the flat above the previously mentioned one and we had intended to see both of them at the same time. Except the tenant said we couldn't because she was going away for the weekend, so would be in at the time of the viewing....a fact that she insists upon....confused? I certainly was

So we had to settle for a peek through the window. Or walking blatantly up to the patio doors and staring in as the agent did

This agent and another agent this week both told me that vendors would definitely take offers of nearly 10% under the asking price, which did leave me wondering who they were working for exactly...still, it's useful information for me

In the meantime some thinking will be done and the search shall continue 

I don't have any house search related funnies so I'll just add something random

Bye bye for now 

Do we have a right to decide

There is a 'Big Issue' seller that I see quite often in Eastleigh, he stands outside the chemist at the end of Market Street, I've never bought the Big Issue

I understand the concept is that you are giving them an income, they buy the magazine for a small amount and they keep the profit, a point that was made by their chief executive a few years ago when he urged people to not pay more than the cover price....it's a job, not a charity

The question is, how many people would buy the magazine if it was on a shelf in Tesco, maybe the content is so impressive that they would, or maybe people just but it for compassionate reasons 

Now this takes me back to the man outside the chemist, lets call him Lloyd....it's not a Boots Chemist

Lloyd is better dressed than me, not a great challenge I'm sure you'll agree, but either way he has nice trainers, decent clothes and most importantly, the latest iPhone 

And this brings us to my question, do we have any right to an opinion on how people spend their money.  We've been repeatedly told that Lloyd is a self employed business man, he's not a beggar, so do we have any more of a right to comment than if he were a builder or plasterer 

And the answer is no. He may earn a lot of money doing what he does, enough that he decides he wants super fast processing, an 8mp camera and all the greatest apps, at least he's an Apple man and not Samsung

When i do decide to buy the Big Issue, if I ever do, will I be buying it from him. No. Because he doesn't 'need' my money. The same as I probably wouldn't favour a builder that drives a Ferrari or a plasterer that carries his tools in a Rolls Royce

Am I judging a book by its cover, no, I'm judging a smart phone by its retina screen

More or less connected

A friend and I will soon be starting an experiment, an experiment in technology

Now normally you would expect this to mean we will be trying out some new technology, or some new way of using it, but no

I was 15 when I got my first mobile phone, 15! I didn't even have anyone to call, in fact I think I only had one or two friends that even had a mobile and why did I need to call them

Text messaging didn't even exist, if you wanted to speak to someone you phoned them, or better still you went to their house and knocked on their door

I fully appreciate that I use my phone more than most people, I have a fair amount of spare time, but I wonder how many people could live without it

But it doesn't stop there, or start there in fact. I cannot actually live without any sort of phone, it's just not viable, I don't work in an office and am often 50 miles from home when at work, so I won't be switching off completely.  However, this is not limited to phones either, this is a shut down of the Internet as well

My methods of communication will be in person or actually speaking on the phone. Text messages will be responded to with a phone call or ignored. Emails, other than work related ones, will be ignored. Facebook will stay active but not be used. Twitter, well I don't really use it anyway, but the same as Facebook. 

You may be wondering what the purpose of all of this is, well it's a test to see whether technology brings us closer to our friends and family or actually pushes us further apart. Does it connect us or disconnect us

Will i be more or less aware of current affairs, more informed or more distant from what is really going on in the world

Will this experiment really show who our friends are, as if someone is not prepared to call you, or receive a phone call from you can they really be counted as a true friend or merely an acquaintance.  Does Facebook and the interaction it brings enrich our lives or just feed a desire to snoop on other people's lives in a bid to make ourselves feel better or even to affirm our belief that we really are in the worst position

It's ironic that this blog is typed on a smart phone, published in an app and posted to Facebook and twitter, all from the comfort and warmth of my bath tub. But just think what opportunities I'm missing out on in the bath by being on my phone

I will publish a start date when everything is discussed and arranged, likely to be a couple of weeks or maybe the start of September 

Lets get connected 

P.S - for those saying that it's easy and they do it on holiday. In most cases that's a lie and in others it's very different, I'm talking living everyday life