Negativity makes you negatively negative

They say negativity breeds negativity....and how right they are

It's Friday night and I'm at work, so a little bored I thought I'd check out the book of face, that'll cheer me up I reason 

Did it fudge

It's just full of whinging, and I appreciate the irony of whinging about people whinging but honestly. 

I would say I've definitely become a more negative person over the last 6 or 7 years, primarily down to being surrounded by negative people a lot off the time. That combined with a lot of 'downtime' makes for a very negative Benji

So, what do I think should be done about this. 

I think you should all find me a new job and.....no no, I'm joking of course. But just imagine if everyone made the effort to be more positive, to concentrate on the good rather than the bad, how much happier the world would be

So I'll start. Tomorrow i shall be attending and helping out at a charity event at The Hub in Bishopstoke - A Day for Dylan - organised by a good friend and friends in honour of Dylan Hockley tragically killed at Sandy Hook Elementary last year, and raising money for Hampshire Autistic Society

http://www.aday4dylan.co.uk/

Please all come along, if you can (I appreciate my readers in Brazil may find it challenging) and share in some positivity 

Find something to smile about every day

😄

I'll leave you with something that will raise you up....no not like that....raise a smile

Bye bye for now

A blog is not a diary....or is it?

A while after I started writing my blog, a friend asked me why I'd not made it anonymous 'then you could write whatever you wanted and no one would know'.

Now I've never really written a blog for other people's benefit, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy people's reactions, I think more people than I appreciate do actually read it.  It's possibly reduced my conversation topics at work now though 

However

The negative side of my blog being published in my name, albeit a slightly elongated and regal version is that I cannot write anything that I'm not happy for everyone to read.  And why would I want people to read everything I'm thinking about, well tbh I'm not entirely sure.

One of the most overused phrases in modern conversation is 'tell me to mind my own business if you like, but'.....I'll be honest, when someone says this, a lot of the time they get the full story...as long as they're not a total nob jockey

I do find it amazing though how many people are suddenly interested in you when there's some gossip to be had. I think it's a subconscious desire to know that someone is worse off than you are, a desperate bid to make them feel better about themselves

Well here's where I've been the last few days, and ultimately why things could be a lot worse

My daughter, my baby daughter, turned 4 yesterday. 4!! I'm not gonna say it feels like only yesterday I changed her very first nappy, gave her her very first bath, or first felt her suckle on my nipple....what?.....too far?.....OK!

But it doesn't, it doesn't feel like yesterday, it feels so long ago. So long ago that I was her absolute world, or at least 50% of it. When she relied on me and her mummy for everything (her mummy and I if you want to be anal, but hey she's 4, give her a break) unable to walk, talk, or even roll over.

It feels so long ago, but in the same way, it seems impossible that in a little over 2 months she'll be starting school.  Her first proper steps to growing up, and becoming even more independent. But it's an adventure that I'll do my utmost to be a part of

This Sunday was her birthday, and I was lucky enough that she stayed with me on Saturday night so I got to wake up to her early (maybe a little too early) on her birthday. I even got a few precious photos, where she's smiling and seems just lost in happiness. Ok, I bribed her to smile by saying she wouldn't get any breakfast, but the camera doesn't show that.....so apparently the camera can lie

We spent the morning with my parents and brother, picking out and then fitting out a new 'Build a bear' teddy, a Princess teddy no less, Rapunzel Bear to you. This was followed by lunch and then back to mummy's house

Whilst not her proper party, that's next week, a little gathering was organised by her mummy. Family and some close friends were there, and a great time was had by all.  To be totally honest I struggled a lot with the day, I was a guest at my daughters 'party' in a house I used to call home.  But the party went fantastically, and the house has been improved no end since I left....the house was probably glad to see the back of me in fact

Amelia had a fantastic day, was very spoilt, and thoroughly enjoyed every second of it.  Well, except for the fight about clip on earrings, but hey, they were mine and I wanted to keep them on

So it was that I went into work today feeling a little melancholy, a little less than my usual positive cheery self, what?.  However, my focus soon changed upon hearing some devastating news regarding a colleague of mine. Her husband passed away from cancer at the weekend, after a lengthy battle that they thought he'd beaten, I believe he was 52!

Suddenly other problems seemed less important. 

More determined than ever to make the most of my time with her, I spent a fantastic afternoon with Amelia today. We went geocaching, or treasure hunting in 4 year old terms. It's the 3rd time we've been, I think, and I can't recommend it enough, it's a mini adventure, kids love it and most importantly it's free. I'm sure it'll be the 3rd of many more trips

Dropped back to mummy's, leaving me to an evening of reflection....and some 10 stone testicles. 

I guess my 'thought(s) for the day' is

'Only ask someone what's up if you genuinely care and want to help them, not to make yourself feel better'

'Be happy for other people. Don't feel bad that they've achieved more than you, but instead be happy that they have had success'

And most importantly 

'Cherish every moment with those that you love, we genuinely do not know when our time may be up, and you only get so long on your 'death bed'.....it's never long enough'

Funny pictures don't seem so suitable today, so I'm gonna be vain and just include pictures of me

Bye bye for now 

To say no is easier but to say yes is 'pleasier?'

Today I spent my day at a friends house, a friend I've not seen for nigh on 5 years, at a house I have in fact not visited before. Why? you may ask

Well, this friend's wife posted an appeal, of sorts, on Facebook last week for any local friends that could help with laying a patio

Now, I had no confidence in my patio laying ability, and with a 45 mile drive I wouldn't describe myself as particularly local either, so the obvious choice would be to not comment

But then I thought to myself, if I needed help with something, such as digging a hole for block paving, I'd like to think I'd have a friend or two that would come to my assistance, and I had a relatively free day today so I thought 'why not?'

As the week went on, the amount of assistance required was also reducing, which was nice. Upon arrival today, at around 9:30, it seemed that all that needed to be done was wheelbarrowing some (freshly diggered) soil from the back garden to the front and into a 'Hippo Bag'.......this only took about 45 minutes and as we watched the digger man drive away it seemed like our work was done

Or not

'Could you just give me a hand moving the paving slabs to the back garden?' was the question asked, 'why not, its only a 10 minute job'. But then I enquired as to what my friend's plan was to lay the patio

............... was the response 

So myself and another friend of my friend offered to stay on and at least make a start on the patio 

And so it was, at around 4:30pm I got in my car to head home, having completed the patio which is now ready for the shed for which it was intended to hold 

I've rambled on, but I do have a point. It's all too easy to find a reason why you're busy, it's all too easy to decide that you just can't be bothered, it's too far, too much effort...it's raining. 

But it's also easy to forget that you may miss out on an enjoyable day with friends, old and new, a belly full of pizza and freshly baked muffins, and the realisation that you actually can do something you previously weren't confident about, and with that a huge sense of achievement 

So next time you're about to say 'No', just try saying 'Yes!'

I will include some funny pictures today, but I'll leave the focus on the fantastic split level patio we created

Bye bye for now 

I'll send you a text

In 1998 I was in Year 10 at school, 4th year of secondary. I didn't have email, I didn't use the Internet..didn't even have it at home. But what I did have was a mobile phone

It was a Nokia Ringo....as expected the Lennon and McCartney had sold out so I got the less popular band member.  In all seriousness I bought it from a mate for £15 I believe.  I was 15 and I could communicate with anyone at any time with this device which had cost me only £15.....I was practically an astronaut 

But I couldn't text. See this was 1998 and the Ringo was an analogue phone, text messaging didn't exist, but it gave me more time to focus on the important things in life.....Snake

In reality I had no one to call, but I carried that phone with me all the time outside of school...there genuinely was no point having it at school, what would I do with it, phone the teacher for help (I never needed help ;-)

This device gave me an excitement that I still get now with a new toy, maybe it's a boy thing, I don't know, but suddenly I was an executive, somebody, I was contactable at all times, I couldn't miss that important meeting....or football match over the green

When I was 17 I used to carry two phones all the time, I was an employed man by this point and with important things to discuss, like my next shift at Matalan, I couldn't risk missing a call. To be honest one phone gave me cheap calls, the other cheap texts so it was worth bulging my trousers for.......who doesn't like a bulge in their trousers

Even having lived through the era of two phones, my 'Lord of the Rings' stage as I could call it,  I would say that mobile phones didn't take over my life until around 2007, and the invention and wide distribution of the 'Smart' phone.  

It'll surprise some of you to know that I didn't have an iPhone, I don't know if I just couldn't afford one, but it didn't matter, I was making a stand against the domination of Apple, I was supporting a company that I'd felt the benefits of for many years, no, Anusol have never made a phone...but Google have

Anyway, I've digressed, I've since had 3 iPhones, I'm typing this on my current one, I can then share it with my iPad, and across my Apple TV. See what I mean, I'm not buying in to that corporate Apple brainwashing 

But now to the main topic 

I wholeheartedly believe that the invention of text messaging may be one of the pinnacle moments in destruction of the age of communication 

When my parents were 'courting', 'stepping out' or 'dating' to make it seem a little less 1920's they didn't even both have phones at home. I believe, and I'm sure ill be corrected about this later, my mum had to walk a fair distance to a phone box, to phone my dad, who presumably just had to make it as far as the hallway. I can imagine the uproar if he'd had the cheek to not be at home when the call came

But this effort meant that there was no room for confusion, misinterpretation, things couldn't be 'taken the wrong way', not like now

How many times have you received a text that has immediately angered you. One of the most annoying words in the world for me, in text message terms, is 'Fine'.  It's not a negative term, it's not derogatory, but show me an example of a time when it wasn't used to mean exactly the opposite to fine

See it is impossible to write something without the possible inference of negative connotations, (that may just be me using big words to sound clever) when you write something, you know exactly how you mean it to sound, but you cannot control how the receiver interprets it

I'd love to see a statistic for how many friendships, relationships etc have been harmed or even destroyed by the misinterpretation of text messages...why not call people...or better still, and stick with me here cos its wild, talk in person

Turnip

The mobile phone, texting, email, Facebook messaging, tweeting, it all has it's place, the world has doubtless been improved in many ways by their invention. But with every victory there are casualties and perhaps social interaction is, just maybe, being destroyed by social interaction 

And don't even get me started on the word  'texes'. 

You 'text' me and I received your 'texts'

I'll leave you with some humorous pictures, which as per usual will have nothing to do with the topic above

Bye bye for now

Tomorrow's topic - why are 'smiley' faces always yellow? - A show of brightness or casual graphical racism

The Bane of my existence

God Bless You

Now I'm not remotely religious, I've been christened yes, but I'm confident that I was too young to know any different. 

My daughter has also been christened at the request of her mother, and I can respect that

Whilst I don't believe in god, I can respect people that do, if the idea of it enriches their life and makes them feel safer, more secure, more blessed than to be honest I'm probably a little jealous of that

'God Bless You' were the 3 parting words from international film star Tom Hardy when I met him yesterday at Fleet Services in Hampshire, he didn't know us and had only spoken to us for a few minutes, and maybe it's just habit, but if you can pass those good wishes on to someone you have just met then I think it says a lot about your character

We were parked in the services, it acts as a good mid point of our patrol route at work, coffee supply is plentiful (if you like that sort of thing) and there are a lot of people to watch...that is my sort of thing

An Audi A3 parked up next to us, a new car but nothing special, very discreet, and out got a young guy and his son.  The son was asking his dad whether we were police and, obviously being too busy fighting Bruce Wayne etc recently, the father didn't know what we did. 

We had a 5 minute chat and he walked off into the services. But his voice had sounded familiar, and he certainly looked familiar, especially the tattoos etc....I said to my colleague 'that was Tom Hardy'. I think my colleague probably thought that made him one half of Laurel and Hardy...he'd certainly never heard of Tom

Whilst he was away, I became a little bit of a stalker I guess, I looked him up on Wikipedia and realised he had a son called Louis, a fiancée called Charlotte and an ex partner named Rachael. So when he came back to the car and said 'Louis go and sit on the grass, Charlie 'has Rachael called yet', it seemed pretty likely that it was Mr Hardy himself

Searching for a subtle way to find out, I walked around the car to where he was sat, eating a massive salad, and asked 'are you Tom Hardy?'.....subtle hey

We joked that he was using his son to smuggle drugs and this was the midpoint for his shipment deliveries. And in fact he'd asked if we were police to make sure he didn't get caught

We laughed, hahaha. 

He was clearly just a young(ish) dad, separated from the mother of his child, doing the end of half term child swap over. 

His fiancée is also a film actress and will be appearing with Tom Cruise in a film next year....but considering most people I've spoken to don't even know who Tom Hardy is, I very much doubt they'll know his partner

My colleague and I debated the fact that surely a man of his fame and fortune would be driving a Porsche, a Bentley or similar. And maybe he does when he's not with his family. 

Anyone I've told has said 'did you get a picture' because obviously people don't believe things without a picture. But do you know what, he'd gone out of his way to be discreet, he didn't invite any attention, and was with his family. In the same way I respect people's belief in god, I respect their right to privacy*

So that was my Saturday, meeting a film star, and having a sausage and chips dinner. Neither will change my life, but both very enjoyable experiences 

I wonder who I might meet today 

I'll leave you with some humorous pictures since I've not blogged for a while.  Dogs getting in on the action, the longest arm I've seen in football, an accurate yet amusingly named drainage company and someone else's take on respecting religion. Oh and a picture of Tom Hardy

Bye bye for now 

*i'd also feel a bit of a nob asking