Well he might die, but at least I didn't get a ticket

I was sat in Asda car park today, got their 1 minute after 4pm and they wouldn't let me in, grrrrr, but I digress

A young boy walked past with his mother, presumably, and proceeded to get into a car, front seat, no child seat or booster.  This boy was, I would guess, around 5 or 6 years old. When the door was closed, you couldn't see him at all

I believe the law states that you can carry a child in your vehicle in an emergency situation without a booster seat.  I don't believe that Asda shopping would be classed as an emergency situation

The fact that his mother, presumably, was happy to transport him with a seatbelt right around his neck, probably with the airbag still switched on dumbfounded me. Ignoring the law, it's just not safe 

I figured this would be the most reckless child/car seat experience of the day, but no

We were called to check on a couple with a baby that had broken down near Portsmouth. They had recovery towards but were concerned for the baby in the heat, around 30 degrees. 

Upon arrival, the father asked if we would be able to transport his partner and child off of the motorway to get the young lad out of the sun.  Of course we were more than happy to do this. As fathers, and most importantly not idiots, we appreciated the need to help. 

So we cleared our bags from the back seat, the mother got in holding the baby and we waited for the father to get the car seat.  

At this point he closed the car door and said his goodbyes.  ''Errrm, you need to put your child in a car seat sir''

''oh really, ok''

So he went to get the car seat, 'chucked' it on the back seat next to his wife and said ''you'll drive safe wont you lads''

''Sir (or may have been 'mate' by this point) you need to actually strap the car seat into the car and your son into the seat''

''Oh, it's a bit tricky to put in, does it matter, it's not far''

I guess it depends whether you give a toss about your son really.  So he asks us to take him off the motorway to get him out of the sun, but is more than happy to just chuck him in a loose car seat and send him on his way

The law in this situation is irrelevant. Of course the law would dictate that the child needs to be in a safely secured car seat, but you shouldn't need a law to tell you that

How is it that people have so little regard for the safety of their children, and will continue to do so, as long as they don't get 'caught'. 

All I can say is I hope the Police catch up with people like this before an Ambulance or Coroner needs to

They should be ashamed

The older you get, the more accurate this becomes

I'd love to take the credit for this, but obviously I can't. It does however sum up life so accurately -------------------------------------------------- Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of ’99, If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it.  The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable

than my own meandering experience…I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind; you will not 

understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded. 

But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked….You’re not as fat as you 

imagine.

Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as 

effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm 

on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing everyday that scares you

Sing

Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss

Don’t waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes 

you’re behind…the race is long, and in the end, it’s only with yourself.

Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch

Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life…the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don’t.

Get plenty of calcium.

Be kind to your knees, you’ll miss them when they’re gone.

Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll have children,maybe 

you won’t, maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky 

chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary…what ever you do, don’t 

congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either – your choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s. 

Enjoy your body, use it every way you can…don’t be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever 

own..

Dance…even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.

Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them.

Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents, you never know when they’ll be gone for good.

Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go,but for the precious few you should hold on. 

Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live 

in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.

Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old, and when you do you’ll fantasize that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were 

noble and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one might run out.

Don’t mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen…

10,000 hits and one only fist hole

Today I write the blog that will see me reach 10,000 hits on my site

I don't know if this is an impressive figure. I do know that the majority of these hits were in the first 3 months, I've been a bit lazy recently, and in fact I could have hit this milestone sooner 

My blog is read by people in nearly 20 countries, has been referenced by other websites, shared, retweeted, complimented....though not insulted (surprisingly).  I think people that I know, read it more than they'll ever admit

I hope it gives a little insight into the exciting life that I lead and maybe even causes some thought provocation and debate along the line

I am always conscious of writing for the sake of writing, the viewing figures showed a decline when I just started writing about anything and everything

I will do my utmost to regain my blog writing mojo over the coming weeks and see if I can return to the glory days of 'STOP, Pope Clown Beard' and 'Old Man Banana Sex'

It would have been nice if I'd tied up my 100th blog with my 10,000th hit but alas it's not to be, this is number 97

And so after that waffle, lets get to my blog for the day. 

Property viewing. I love it

Yesterday I, along with a friend, did some flat viewings, 2 intentional and 1 as a 'suggestion' from the agent

I actually quite like estate agents sometimes, sure a lot of them are smarmy, arrogant arseholes, but you can't always judge a book by its glossy fact sheet

Now, that's not to say I didn't encounter one of the worst types this week. 

I found a flat I wanted to view, phoned the agent, and envisioned the conversation going like this:

Me - can I view flat 'X' please

Her - of course you can

Me - super, Friday any good?

Her - of course, that would be perfect,   

            we look forward to helping you  

           find your dream home

Ok, the last bit would be a little cheesy but you get the idea.  What followed instead was 

Me - can I view flat 'X' please

Her - how are you planning to    

            finance the purchase

Me - I have a mortgage in place and a  

          financial advisor to handle it   

          thanks 

Her - you need to come as see me (she 

           was the mortgage advisor) I will  

           get you a better deal (at this point 

          she has no idea about what deal I 

          have)

Me - no thanks, I'd just like to see the 

          flat

Her - but if you see me then you'll  

           become a premier customer, which 

           means we'll do X, Y and Z for you

Me - tbh if you're not doing those things 

          already then you're failing your 

          clients

Her - but but....blah blah blah

Me - can I just arrange a viewing please

Her - FINE (and we know how much I 

           hate that word) I'll 'find' the diary 

           and call you back

That was on Tuesday. She obviously hasn't found it yet....

Rumour has it that a new blockbuster will be hitting the screens next year 

'Indiana Jones - Finders of the Lost Estate Agent's Diary'

Anyway, the viewings I had were with 2 perfectly lovely agents. Upon seeing the first arrive in his '60' plate Audi, I did question if I'm in the wrong job, but he did say he's saving up for a Renault Clio diesel and the Audi was just a runaround, fair enough really

The second was very nice, explaining that she had 5 kids...but she didn't give birth to all of them. Thoughts of deliveries by the stork sprang to mind before she explained that she'd just found 3 of them.....or they were her step kids.....one or the other 

You have to have a certain amount of respect for a woman that can make a positive from any negative though 

'Ok the kitchen has no storage, but there is a big cupboard in the living room, you could use that to store food etc'

Hmmm

The flat (maisonette) in question was already a 'no' but I thought it worth having a sneaky look at the 'communal garden'.  In case we weren't sure that we'd found the garden, the MASSIVE dog from next door made it clear where we were

We were greeted by toothless Tammy, the downstairs neighbour. Pausing her puffing on cigarette number 50 for the day, she explained that her 'other arf' owned the garden and my 'communal' area was in fact the size of a small hatchback car. But it was ok because she assured me that her 'ex' partner was a 'really nice guy' that 'wouldn't give me any trouble'.....well if that doesn't sell the flat then nothing will

What she also failed to realise is that if her 'ex' is 'really nice' then maybe she's the problem, and she'd be my neighbour 

The 3rd viewing was a flat in a block, and lets just say that my plan isn't to live in a flat that stinks of dog, painted pink, with a mouldy bathroom and, and this is icing on the cake, a fist sized hole in the wall on the communal stairway (I know it was fist sized, I measured it, and with my small hands, I'm pretty sure there's an angry woman living there'

Still one of the 3 viewings went really well, so we shall see what happens with that one

Now as much as I like to 'waffle' (picture attached) I think I'll leave it there

Have some funny pictures and have a great 'weekend'. I'll be hard at work until 10pm :-(

Bye bye for now 

Every day is a lucky day when you have a poo

This is the quote I received from my wife this morning, straight from the mouth of my amazing 4 year old daughter. Followed by 'so every day must be really lucky for you'.....is she trying to say I'm full of shit ;-)

It reminded me of a blog subject that I intended to write about a few weeks ago after a day spent with Amelia 

We should all try to be a bit more like children. Now I don't mean we should start (keep) wearing nappies or throwing tantrums but instead we should try to gain a little of their zest for life 

When Amelia spends the night at my flat, she generally wakes me up around 6am.  She does this by first banging her hand on the bed, then she throws a cuddly toy at me, and when I don't respond to this, she jumps on my head....all with a massive smile on her face and laughing.....at 6am!

A child can have their eyes half closed, laying on the sofa, nearly passed out tired, but mention the word 'Park' and you wouldn't believe they could move so quick....they put enjoyment before sleep....and ok it's easier for them but it doesn't mean we shouldn't try it

I remember, and I may have blogged about it before, driving to Paultons Park with Amelia once. The weather looked questionable when we left but that was nothing compared to when we arrived.  It was raining so hard that you could barely see the car in front of you

This was great news, because we could turn around and head home. I'll double check with Amelia I thought, but of course she won't want to get wet, will she, surely

Her response was 'I've got my waterproof suit so I won't get wet daddy'.  I explained that I only had jeans and a tshirt on and no coat. Amelia looked at me in a way that just said 'why would this be a problem to me'

So there we were puddle splashing around Paultons, Amelia dry as a bone and me chilled to mine....and we both loved it

So next time you're feeling a little tired, like you'll just watch tv rather than go out, like something is just too much effort, think 'what would Amelia do?'

(Obviously you can change the child's name when you think about it, but if you don't have kids then feel free to use mine)

I'll leave you with a few funnies today, things that have amused me recently

Bye bye for now