Muddy and Tough

So, I went for a little run yesterday. Nothing big. Just a causal stroll in the woods really

Oh did I mention it was 12 miles, in 12 inch deep mud, up and down some ridiculous hills 

Oh, and 20 obstacles along the way

Yesterday I did Tough Mudder. Not on my own you understand. As they tell you at the start, it's a challenge not a race, which is lucky because I'd have had absolutely no chance in a race 

Now normally the only thing I will run is a bath. But when we signed up for the event back in August, I wanted to take my training seriously, and by December I had gone from struggling to run half a mile to running 8 miles.  And all was going great, until.....

'Do you reckon I can hang upside by my feet from your pull up bar Colin?' To which the response was either 'no', or 'well Denzil can do it'.  I forget the answer now, but I can only assume it was the latter because less than a minute later, there I was....

Lying in agony on the living room floor, being laughed at by 4 teenage girls and my good mate, the caring, considerate Colin

But would I let this little set back destroy my well planned training routine.....do I really need to answer that

So my bruised ribs kept me away from running for nearly 4 months which left me with a massive 5 weeks to train for Tough Mudder.  At this point you may be thinking 'but you couldn't train for Tough Mudder in 5 weeks, he must be an elite athlete'. We'll let me tell you.....you can't train for it in 5 weeks

And so it was with trepidation I entered the starting zone, had a rave for a warm up, and then got ready to begin....with an absolutely MASSIVE hill, I've never even walked up a hill that steep, until yesterday...and I was in good company with maybe only 2 or 3 people actually running it 

It would take forever to go through all 20 obstacles, so let's just say I lost my warmth on obstacle 3, a skip filled with ice, my ability to grip anything having sliced my hand on a rock following the trench crawl at 6 miles, and what felt like one (or both) of my testicles on the wonderfully named 'walk the plank'. Imagine if you will, a 25ft high tower with a straight drop into a pool of freezing cold water on the other side, lovely eh

Now I hate peanuts, but when someone offers you a chunk of chocolate covered peanut bar after 6 miles of running, you flipping well take it. Tbh I'd have eaten anything that wasn't covered in mud by that point 

Having twisted my knee around the 4 mile mark, the pain got gradually worse until about 10 miles when I could just about bare weight on it, so the last few miles were done at a very slow pace. The only saving grace was my mate looking like he had hypothermia and therefore needing to walk for a few miles....so obviously I held back to walk with him, I know I know, what a great guy I am

The penultimate obstacle was called 'Everest'. Upon seeing the name on the course map, I knew it was either gonna be a steep climb, or the best goddamn double glazing you've ever seen.....it was unfortunately the first one

30 minutes queuing for our chance to run up the slope was only improved by being soaking wet and standing in a strong cold wind. You can imagine how excited and full of energy we were by that point

A few electric shocks and we were done and supping on a pint of beer and devouring a full peanut covered bar thingy.....which didn't taste nearly as nice by that point

The beer on the other half was lovely, and I'm not a drinker, but seemingly when you add a shot of whiskey to it and call it Ginger Grouse, I'm a big fan

So that was Tough Mudder London West 2014....a real experience....

that I have no intention of ever repeating

But to anyone considering or already registered for a Tough Mudder in the future, go for it, it was easy

Oh...should I have put that at the start and advised to stop reading. Never mind....if I have to suffer