Old man banana sex

It's Monday, it's been raining and snowing, it's a long time until the weekend, even hump day is 2 days away, i didn't sleep very well and I had a bacon and sausage baguette for breakfast....sounds boring, but I've saved you from having to check Facebook now....well unless you desperately need to know if anyone is bored .com

We didn't manage to find anyone crashed at work today, with our only real job being a Mini that had managed to find itself in the central reservation, broken down as opposed to crashed. So I guess I could apologise if you were held up when I stopped the m27 at junction 9 this morning...I'm not going to apologise though obviously as I actually probably increased the speed of your journey by a fair amount....I'm sure you've noticed how much people slow down when there's something 'interesting' to see

It would seem we missed the most interesting job of the day at 3am when a 'confused' elderly gentlemen decided, or didn't decide, that driving along the motorway in the usual direction didn't suit him and he would prefer to drive against oncoming traffic. This actually happens a lot more often than you would imagine, but fortunately there were no injuries...this time

We did have a contender for idiot of the afternoon toward the end of our shift when someone that had broken down on the hard shoulder was apparently being jump started by a friend that had performed a u-turn in lane 1 so that he could face the wrong way in order for the leads to reach. This also happens more often that you'd expect. Unfortunately we didn't get there in time to re educate this individual.

Although it does raise a question.....we think the old man at 3 am was confused, but maybe he was actually providing a breakdown service and was on his way to a car with a flat battery

To change the pace a little, I now have two 'interesting' banana based facts for you. Firstly, when storing bananas, you should separate them from the bunch, this will allow them to ripen more slowly and therefore, if you don't eat your bananas very quickly, your stocks will last longer.

The second fact will blow your mind. Convention would tell us to peel bananas from the top downward but, as you may have experienced, this can sometime be tricky, and can snap the banana etc. So next time you are peeling a banana, squeeze the black spot on the bottom between finger and thumb, this will split the skin easily and you can then peel from the bottom up....try it, it works

Apparently men think about sex once every six seconds, and this, is why I always eat bananas in 5 seconds or less

Tonight's television promises to be somewhere between bad and worse, so any film recommendations will be greatly received, otherwise it may be an evening learning more exciting fruit based techniques...read into that what you will

I will leave you today with two cocks and an ass, an ice cream man that may want to rethink his business plan, a floating boat (obviously they all float...except maybe the titanic but you know what I mean) and the real reason the pope was too embarrassed to stay in the job

Bye bye for now