I'm aware that this isn't a cheery topic, but it's what happens in a blog written at 4am, having already been awake an hour in the house of coughing. It may not make much sense, but to be honest most people won't make it as far as this sentence anyway.
Still, I have to be up for work soon......
It's a question that comes up from time to time, usually around the time that we lose someone. Of course no one really 'wants' to die, but, as I believe Benjamin Franklin said ''In this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes."
As a family we have lost 2 people in recent years, husbands, fathers, brothers, sons, uncles, a granddad, different people to everyone, but still 2 people
The circumstances could not have been more different, the first happened in the middle of the night, a phone call to say there'd been a tragic event and he and his friend had died. The next morning, a 5 year old would wake up without a father and we would be without a brother in law. It was a very public death, a lot of media coverage, which is still ongoing now, and a massive, well deserved, funeral service. One of my most vivid memories, which actually still brings tears to my eyes writing this is of a group of his colleagues, big, strong firefighters, people that run into burning buildings by choice, breaking down in tears together, heartbreaking.
He was 38
The second was very different, we had been given time to 'prepare' for the loss. But how can you possibly prepare for losing someone, given a month or a year, it's never going to be long enough. How do you prepare to lose your Dad. Yes we know everyone will die eventually, but we still convince ourselves it will never happen, that it's just something that happens to other people. This time it was cancer, an evil disease, that spreads before you even know it's there. I think it's true to say that you don't know how brave someone can be until they're faced with something they can't control. I am proud to say that my father in law was one of the bravest men I have known. To still smile and joke when all hope is lost, but continue to fight. To still worry about everyone else when you should be worrying about yourself. To never give up until you just can't give any more
He was 65
These two men taught me more in the very short time I knew them, than some people will teach you in a lifetime, and we could all learn so much from them
They will never be forgotten
Now people will say to you 'there are a lot of bad people in this world, they're the ones that should die early, get cancer etc' and I used to agree with that. Are there people less deserving of life, yes, but does that mean they deserve to die, I'm not so sure
The person least affected by your death is you, you're no longer here, you're not in any pain or suffering. The people affected are the ones that are left behind and the chances are, even the awful people in this world, leave behind some good people that have to suffer
However I am going to die, I personally think I'd like to be an old man, I think I'd like to know a date, with plenty of notice, but I don't want to know my killer, instead just to fall asleep and not wake up
We've had an awful few years in a lot of ways. Do I think we are the only people to go through this, no of course not. Does it make it any easier to know that other people have been, or are going through it, not at all. But we don't talk about it, we don't talk about death through fear of upsetting people, or bringing back bad memories. But memories work two ways, yes there are bad ones, but also very good ones
My biggest regret, especially with the two people we have lost, is not making enough memories. We spend too much time watching TV, on Facebook, writing blogs :-/ and not enough time enjoying people's company, doing things together, cherishing life. No one has ever, in their last few moments of life, said 'I'm so glad I never missed an episode of Eastenders'. We spend too much time watching other people's lives when we should be living our own
So tonight when you sit down to watch TV again, or play computer games, or anything else, don't do it at the expense of seeing someone you love
Of course we all need time on our own, but don't let that time take over.
Make some good memories every day
I know how much you love picture on my blogs, but I don't have any suitable for the subject matter except for this one so I'll leave you with this
Bye bye for now
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