I don't think you can fully appreciate how relaxed life is until you have kids, not needing to arrange a babysitter for a night out, or go out for the day without 2 or 3 bags, eat at a restaurant that doesn't given colouring books with the meals or walk to a shop and back in less time than it would take to breed and raise the animals needed for the bacon you've gone to buy
Swimming actually involved swimming, watching TV meant watching something without animation (except The Simpsons), relaxing in the garden didn't mean pushing the swing and going for a bike ride didn't mean waking along behind a stabilised pink frame with tassles
Having a bath or a shower could be done at any time, for any length of time, using the toilet didn't have a running commentary and discussion about whether you were having a wee or a poo
Dressing up meant a suit as opposed to a pirate costume, a tie rather than fairy wings and cufflinks instead of beaded bracelets
If there were footprints or mud stains on the roof of your car, they weren't from size 8 wellies, the backseat was for cuddling, not cuddly toys, and going for a drive was a way to relax for you instead of to get someone to sleep
If clothes didn't fit you went and bought new ones, if they were dirty, you washed them, if a white t shirt was now pink, none of this mattered. It certainly didn't result in mass hysteria and a breakdown about how the whole world was against you
All of these things are what makes being a parent bloody hard work, but this is what makes it all completely worthwhile
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off 'swimming'......I may even 'go for a bike ride there'
Oh and if you can't see me, I'll be the one in a pink tshirt and eye patch ;-)
Bye bye for now
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